We asked, nay, pleaded on Tuesday for Big Cup to come back to life after a dull last 16. And how it obliged, although the double-screening leaving us with a very dodgy neck. Six goals inside 32 first-half minutes across the two quarter-finals, leads quickly taken and then quickly overturned, all sides level going into the second leg to keep the tension alive. There was, of course, your bog-standard refereeing controversy during Arsenal 2-2 Bayern Munich, with the Gunners arguing for a late penalty after Bukayo Saka went down, and Bayern denied one themselves earlier after a bizarre incident. Gabriel Magalhães was the culprit, picking up the ball inside his own box from what appeared to be a goal kick from David Raya. Thomas Tuchel was, well, not best pleased by the apparent defence from the referee. “What makes us really angry is the explanation on the field,” fumed Tuchel. “He told our players that it’s a kid’s mistake, and he will not give a penalty like this in a quarter-final. This is a horrible, horrible explanation.”

Now, to be fair to referee Glenn Nyberg, why not implement kid’s rules for what, at times, resembled a playground kickabout on steroids? The first leg of a European knockout tie sounds like it should be an exercise in tactical intellectualism, a highbrow affair for which the word “cagey” was invented. Instead both games had their childlike moments. Leroy Sané’s mazy dribble through the entire Arsenal half to win Bayern a penalty was very much Year 11 powerhouse brushing aside futile challenges from the Year 7s. That particular move began with Manuel Neuer playing keepy-up inside his box to loft a ball over Kai Havertz’s head, adding to the fun. Mikel Arteta, the I’m-not-angry-just-disappointed headmaster, wasn’t enthralled by his side’s defending: “We gave them two goals today,” he announced before dishing out detention. “When you have this situation you are going to be punished. And that is the biggest lesson.”

Over at the Bernabéu, the defensive mistakes continued. Bernardo Silva caught Andriy Lunin dozing with a cheeky free-kick, and Josko Gvardiol had too much time to smash City’s third after a heavy first touch. Meanwhile Pep Guardiola basked in Phil Foden’s latest wonderhit by gazing at his goalscorer with those angry-I-love-you eyes of his. Fortunately for Big Cup masters Real, they had a couple of worldies of their own, with Rodrygo’s nutmeg and Federico Valverde’s volley closing out a joyous lunch break. Off you run back to class, kids.

To Wednesday! Atlético Madrid host Borussia Dortmund, which looks like a battle of the outsiders. And yet Big Cup is such a closed shop that these two can still claim to be among the elite; Atlético were recent finalists in 2014 and 2016 (getting wedgied by Real on both occasions); Dortmund have won the whole thing before, even if it was back in 1790-something. The Ludovic Giuly derby is the other tie, which reminds us of Paris Saint-Germain’s implosion against Barcelona seven years ago in the last 16, when the Spanish side overturned a 4-0 first-leg deficit with a staggering 6-1 win at Camp Nou. PSG responded to that horrid evening in a totally responsible, grownup manner: by whipping out the chequebook to nick Neymar off Barça and Kylian Mbappé from Monaco. With Mbappé leaving this summer to bring an end to the mega-galactico era in Paris, this is a last shot at continental glory for this iteration of the club. What a heart-swelling tale it’ll be if they do it, that of the plucky state-backed side, having splurged their billions and monopolised success at home, finally lifting Big Cup. Someone pass the tissues.

Join Taha from 8pm BST for hot Big Cup MBM coverage of Barcelona 2-2 PSG, while Will Unwin will be on deck then for Dortmund 1-2 Atlético.

“Finally we won a competitive game, that’s it isn’t it? That was something very recurring. Not only did we win a competitive game but we had 70% of possession. We’ve conceded one goal in the last four games. Even though in friendlies it doesn’t count for some journalists. We are happy with four points – a good route for what we want for qualification. I’m proud of my players because they played in a narrative totally manipulated that is not acceptable” – fresh and funky Scotland head coach Pedro Martínez Losa takes aims at hacks after his side’s 1-0 victory over Slovakia in Euro 2025 qualifying, their first competitive win in nine games. We’re just pointing out facts, Pedro!

Re: ‘one of the more dreary and monotonously predictable Big Cups in living memory …’ (Tuesday’s Football Daily) I trust you watched yesterday’s two matches. I hope you enjoyed the experience of eating crow. I personally found it snobby and complacent. Also, because you are a journalist and have a lot of free rein to express your opinions, I think you should think twice about casting aspersions directly on the tournament, and indirectly on the eight teams that have fought their way to this level” – Ricks Carson (and no others).

Standing at the Newcastle away end at Palace (or was it QPR?) watching Joselu kick the ball against his standing leg in front of an open goal, it was hard to think that the man could play football at all. We dismissed him as another pathetic signing from Europe. Lovely to see that he has come good (well, better than good) and seems to be such a lovely chap” – Trevor West.

Can I be the first of 1,056 pedants [1,057? – Football Daily Ed] to suggest that Bayern Munich’s total of six Big Cups being ‘second only to that of Real Madrid and Milan’ [Tuesday’s Football Daily] would more normally be classed as being third to, rather than second?” – Mark Ward (and 1,056 others).

Send letters to [email protected]. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’ the day is … Trevor West.

“Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened” – Rachel Daly, part of the England squad that won Euro 2022 and reached last year’s World Cup final, has announced her retirement from international football. “While today is an extremely difficult day for me, it is also one filled with reflection and immense gratitude,” she added. “Playing for and representing England has been the greatest honour.”

Danny Murphy, the former Liverpool and England midfielder turned pundit, has admitted he became addicted to cocaine after his playing days ended. “When you don’t have football, problems become huge,” the 47-year-old told the Ben Heath Podcast. “I had a spell on cocaine and smoking some weed. I got to the point where I thought I couldn’t do things without it. Which was nonsense, of course I could. You manage it initially, you might do it once a week, twice a week, give yourself an extra third day. Eventually it builds up and grabs hold of you.”

Lauren James is remains very, very good at football and helped the Lionesses beat Republic of Ireland 2-0 in a crucial game in their Euro 2025 qualifying group of death.

Meanwhile, USWNT pipped Canada in a penalty shootout (after a 2-2 draw) to win the SheBelieves Cup final. Brazil took third place, beating Japan in their own shootout after a 1-1 draw in the earlier match.

Rodri, who has played 3,498 minutes for Manchester City this season, second only to Foden (3,560), is apparently in need of a siesta. “I do need a rest,” yawned the Spaniard. “I need to adjust. It is something we are planning, yeah.”

Suit news! Omar Berrada and Jason Wilcox might not yet be in their shiny new offices at Manchester United HQ but have been lined up to lead Manchester United’s transfer market strategy this summer in lieu of sporting director Dan Ashworth, whose own transfer from Newcastle is still being hashed out.

And the Championship delivers again: Leicester lost at south London scamps Millwall, Sheffield Wednesday (on a Tuesday) came back to salvage a 2-2 draw with Norwich and Sunderland dented Leeds’ promotion push with a goalless draw at Elland Road.

Quite the night of Big Cup, wasn’t it? Barney Ronay was at the Bernabéu to watch Phil Foden put Jude Bellingham in the shade, while Jonathan Wilson mused on Arsenal’s failure to bury their demons against Bayern.

Meanwhile, here’s Nick Ames on Harry Kane and why the striker sees parallels with Bayern’s Big Cup journey and Spurs’ run to the final in 2019.

In this week’s Knowledge: the biggest gap in the rankings between consecutive international opponents,the most far-apart country clash in the Euros, an excruciating marriage proposal and more.

Emma Hayes is walking into a US team that has found a spark again. But Megan Swanick explains the Chelsea manager faces high expectations and difficult questions as she prepares for the Olympics.

Joey Lynch on Australia’s rising star – Bayern Munich-bound Nestory Irankunda – and why Adelaide United is the best place for him right now.

And the women’s Championship promotion race is absorbing but amid reform comes a risk of financial divides widening between clubs, writes Juliet Nottingham.

Some artwork for you. Saturday Taxpayers was painted by Gerald Cains in the same year that LS Lowry produced Going to the Match. Cains said the picture came to him in a dream when he was only 22 years old.