Get in there! Have some of that! The undisputed best league in the world ™ has only gone and completed the hat-trick. Real Madrid’s Big Cup win over Borussia Dortmund means the Premier League can now boast that its teams lost, at some point, to the three sides that lifted European silverware this season. No disgrace there to be sent packing by those heavyweights from Spain, Italy and … erm, Greece. To recall, Manchester City were done by Madrid on penalties, Liverpool endured the beginning of Jürgen Klopp’s end at the hands of eventual Big Vase winners Atalanta, while Aston Villa were plucky 6-2 aggregate losers to Olympiakos in Tin Pot’s last four.

With England’s coefficient suffering more hits than those of us who sat through the peak years of Stock Aitken Waterman, the giant computer that spits out these things decided that was the funniest way to stop fifth-placed Tottenham qualifying for Big Cup. Hard to believe that Spurs were in the final five years ago, although watching back now it seems incomprehensible that a team playing in all-white should actually lose it. Real Madrid have taken their modern-day dominance of Big Cup to ridiculous heights. The inevitable 2-0 victory over Dortmund in Saturday’s Wembley final was their sixth triumph in the last 11 years. Their tally of 15 is now one more than the combined haul won by Bayern, Barcelona and Manchester United. Or 15 more than Arsenal. Still, they may have to wait their turn for the next, having been forced to dip into the free transfer market to sign some guy from PSG.

Of course, the destination of the Big Cup trophy was a mere afterthought compared to the main talking point on Saturday: who would win the Ballon d’Or, Ballon d’Or, Ballon d’Or, Ballon d’Or, Ballon d’Or, Ballon d’Or? Rio Ferdinand reckons Vinícius Júnior has it in the bag after the unmarked Brazilian tucked away the second goal following a defensive gaffe and told us so – live – into a Rio-b@ntz content cam, as TNT broadcast colleagues Laura Woods and José Mourinho got on with their jobs in the background, wondering why a grown man was repeatedly shouting the name of an award when the scorer’s team going 2-0 up seemed the bigger angle.

But as Ferdinand made his way home, presumably stopping off to bellow “Michelin Star, Michelin Star, Michelin Star” as his chicken pie and chips arrived, there was another former England defender breathing sighs of relief after one of his key men came through the final unscathed. Jude Bellingham – Viní Jr’s main rival in the Ballon d’Or, Ballon d’Or, Ballon d’Or betting – didn’t exactly set Wembley alight, although laid on the clincher for his Brazilian teammate. Gareth Southgate has advised the overworked Bellingham to recharge his batteries but the England boss could be forgiven for a silent smirk at his Premier League players having their legs saved by those early European exits. England’s hopes of Euro 2024 glory in Germany have possibly been enhanced as a result but, most importantly, could one of them win the Player of the Tournament? Ask Rio. Because that’s the real quiz.

Chelsea have confirmed their appointment of Leicester City’s Enzo Maresca, the new manager having accepted the challenge from Todd Boehly and co of returning the club to Big Cup as a bare minimum.

Join Scott Murray from 7.45pm BST for hot minute-by-minute coverage of England 1-1 Bosnia and Herzegovina in their men’s international friendly.

“It is racist. I feel that we need to wake up. This question is insane. I hope I never have to read about such a crap survey again” – Germany head coach Julian Nagelsmann is left shocked after state broadcaster ARD asked survey participants if they would prefer more white players in the national team.

Thanks to our friends at the Guardian Print Shop, we’re giving away more David Squires cartoons. To enter, just write us a letter for publication below. We will choose the best of our letter o’ the day winners at the end of each week and that worthy winner will then be given a voucher for one of our top, top cartoonist’s prints. And if you’re not successful, you can scan the full archive of David’s cartoons here and buy your own. Terms and conditions for the competition can be viewed here.

Re: Andy Gill and managerial action figures (Friday’s Football Daily letters). He might be on to something: Tracksuit Sean Dyche and jacket-and-tie Sean Dyche!” – Dave Shelles.

Here in France, Big Cup final was on free-to-air TV channel TF1. The programme started at 8.45pm, so it was Lenny Kravitz, football, football, lifting of Big Cup. No hours of chat, chat, chat and no ‘expert pundits’. Brilliant. Bonne journee” – Neil Carter.

Send letters to [email protected]. Today’s letter o’ the day winner is … Dave Shelles, who now has the chance to win a David Squires cartoon from our print shop at the end of the week. Terms and conditions for all this can be viewed here.

“I want to thank you for your love. Normally a coach is loved after victories. In this case I feel that I am loved before the victories. That for me is a big responsibility that I feel. I promise you that from this moment I belong to your family. This shirt is my skin” – yes, José Mourinho and Fenerbahce are official after a warm fan welcome, meaning the chance for some spectacular Souness-esque flag-planting has just gone up a jot or two. It’s going to be box office.

Gareth Southgate has refused to give Jack Grealish assurances over his Euro 2024 place. “This season he has not played as much,” sighed the England manager. “I’m sure he would have liked that to be different but we know the qualities he can bring.”

Scotland boss Steve Clarke has warned that a mini-crisis up front shouldn’t fuel too much excitement over a prominent role for Ben Doak. “Let’s not overhype or overpush him. Let’s do it properly,” cooed Clarke after Lyndon Dykes was ruled out of the Euros by ankle-knack.

The Euro 2025 qualifying playoffs are looking more and more likely for England as they head for a return trip to France – without the knacked Mary Earps – after losing 2-1 at home to Les Bleues. “We’ve got to make sure we recover well, learn from the game, but also take a lot of the positives,” cheered Ella Toone.

Australia have signed off for their flamin’ tilt at the Olympics with a 2-0 victory over China, in front of 76,798 Matildas fans.

Speaking of Paris 2024, Kylian Mbappé has been left out of Thierry Henry’s 25-man preliminary training group, although he could yet be a late squad call-up before the Games. “I am not closing the door on hope; we don’t know what will happen,” tooted Henry. “But I must present a realistic list.”

And Jobe Bellingham is wanted all over Europe, but Sunderland are still battling to keep their midfielder at the Stadium of Light. They probably could do with resolving their managerial issue sharpish too, mind.

Euro 2024 is looming large on the horizon so that means it’s Experts’ Network team guides time: get the lowdown on No 1 Germany and No 2 Hungary.

Six issues that England must address before the start of Euro 2024. Jacob Steinberg lists them.

Raheem Sterling tells Rob Draper about the pre-season session with the Royal Marines that proved pivotal in shaping Gareth Southgate’s England.

Bravo for Brest and goodbye to Kylian Mbappé. A complete review of the Ligue 1 season in France.

Sunil Chhetri, India’s Messi, is hoping to end his 19-year international career with a World Cup milestone. John Duerden sets the scene.

Moya Dodd fears the new women’s football calendar will stifle the club game unless Fifa is open to dialogue.

Inverness Caley Thistle are moving their training base 135 miles away. Ewan Murray on why it’s a sign of Scottish football’s mess.

After winning the Champions League yet again, Sid Lowe believes this Madrid team rank alongside Alfredo Di Stéfano’s as the greatest ever.

From Germany’s rise to Manchester City’s stumble – John Brewin looks at the themes from this season’s Big Cup.

And everything you ever wanted to know about how Freed from Desire took over the world (with added Gala talking about Will Grigg).

Goodness, it’s almost 14 years since the Capello Index fiasco, a controversial site which was to publish the then England manager’s ratings of his charges during the 2010 World Cup. What could go wrong? The FA managed to get it delayed until after the tournament, before it went live on 17 July. Within hours, the Italian demanded it be taken down – “I did not authorise this and am angry the index was published,” he sniffed – before the England ratings were removed from the site three days later. Quite the business.