Spurs’ ongoing failure to win anything that requires dusting or polishing

Oh, Ange. In the cold light of day, having seen their team knocked out of the Rumbelows Cup before the end of August, one suspects Tottenham fans aren’t so much angry at their new Australian manager, as very, very disappointed in him, which is arguably flamin’ worse. Having endured the unspeakably grim regimes of José Mourinho, Antonio Conte and that Portuguese fella everyone fails to mention because he wasn’t there long enough to fit the narrative of tedium, things were supposed to be different under Ange Postecoglou. “Supposed” being the operative word.

A manager who might not have the same elite pedigree of the aforementioned duo but at least conveys the impression he isn’t just doing Spurs a favour by turning up for work in the morning, Postecoglou had got off to a great start in charge, mate. With Harry Kane gone, they were unbeaten in three league games, had seen off Manchester United at home and were playing the kind of front-foot football their fans hadn’t witnessed since Calvin Harris and Dua Lipa combined to top the charts. Even the most strident Ange-sceptics were beginning to believe and then he had to go and pick a team so second-string not even Eric Dier could get into it and lose to Fulham on penalties. The defeat means Spurs have been knocked out of one of only two trophies they have any vaguely realistic chance of winning to end their well-documented 15-year trophy drought this season. And like we said, September is still a couple of days away.

While there is no disgrace in losing to Fulham on spot-kicks and it is entirely possible to point the Big Finger O’Blame at Tottenham’s fringe members, the fact of the matter is that Postecoglou rested nine players from the team that saw off Bournemouth on Saturday, despite having said in the build-up to the game that he’d only make “some changes so we have the energy required” to take “an opportunity to progress in a cup”. Once that opportunity had come, been squandered and gone, the Spurs manager defended his many switches in personnel. “How am I going to find out about my players?” he asked reporters. “We need to give the players the opportunity to contribute.” All of them, Ange? At the same time? Including a few who may well have left the club by Saturday?

While Tottenham’s manager was offered the lifeline of blaming their hideous cappuccino-coloured third kit for the defeat, it was one he wisely turned down while simultaneously responding to in his inimitable no-nonsense style. “I don’t know, is the real answer to that genuine question,” he sighed. “That’s my genuine answer. I’m not really sure. I don’t think it would have played a massive part.” Tottenham’s wasn’t the only conspicuous wardrobe malfunction on show, as their goal came while Fulham were reduced to 10 men, Kenny Tete forced to dash to the home dressing-room in search of a replacement boot. And while Milk Cup elimination certainly doesn’t make Postecoglou a bad gaffer, the reaction to it from both Spurs’ fans and those from other clubs, who delight in Tottenham’s ongoing failure to win anything that requires dusting or polishing, suggests it was quite the faux pas. Having seen his calculated gamble fail, the Australian now has amends to make; home and away wins over Arsenal, a top-four finish and victory in the FA Cup should do the trick. The name on the door of the Tottenham manager’s office door may have changed but the fan disappointment will linger as long as the inherent “Spursiness” stays the same.

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“You feel hopeful when you meet people who genuinely care. The players really enjoyed meeting her. Sometimes you feel so lonely when you fight against an empire like Fifa. You feel so tired. You feel like you’re screaming but it’s too big, the building is too tall, and nobody can hear. When you find someone like Malala standing with you, bold and loud in making a statement and calling out Fifa, asking: ‘Which side are you standing on, are you standing with women, with female footballers or the Taliban?’ you feel hopeful” – Khalida Popal, who cofounded the national team and helped evacuate players from Afghanistan in 2021, talks about Nobel peace prize winner Malala Yousafzai meeting with the exiled women’s team in Melbourne. Suzanne Wrack was there.