The Derby Paulista is a big football match. Possibly not as big as Take That singer Gary Barlow’s son, but fairly massive nonetheless. Contested by Corinthians and Palmeiras, rival sides in the Brazilian city of São Paulo, the most recent one was a league match played on Monday night and won 2-0 by Corinthians, whose striker Yuri Alberto scored one of their goals. However, the 23-year-old’s smart finish at the end of a lightning fast second-half counterattack wasn’t his only strike of note in the game. While the match was still scoreless with a little over 30 minutes played at Corinthians’ NeoQuimica Arena, Palmeiras were awarded a corner but before they could take it, Alberto trotted towards the sideline to boot a beanbag or pillow thrown from the crowd off the pitch. It was only on impact that he realised it wasn’t in fact a beanbag or pillow, but the disembodied head of an actual pig.

“I almost broke my foot,” he told reporters after the game. “I thought it was a cushion, something like that. I tried to kick it hard, but it was a pig’s head, I almost injured my foot.” An incident that harked back to a similar event at Camp Nou in 2002 when Barcelona fans launched a porcine projectile in the direction of Luís Figo upon his return to the stadium with their hated rivals Real Madrid, this incident seemed to be without precedent in Brazil’s Serie A as the fount of all South American football knowledge that is Tim Vickery, who has forgotten more about the country’s football history than most of us will ever know, immediately tweeted that it was “a new one on me”.

While two arrests were made by police, the suspects were released without charge soon after and it remains unclear whether the fans who smuggled the pig’s head into the stadium with a view to Delapping it towards the pitch were supporters of Corinthians or Palmeiras. Though the sausagey finger of blame is being pointed at the former, there is every chance it could have been a visiting fan. Having spent decades being disparaged by Corinthians fans as “pigs”, in 1986, Palmeiras decided to embrace the insult by chanting it about themselves with increasing frequency until one of their players, Jorginho Putinatti, posed on the cover of Placar magazine holding a cute little piglet in his arms. The club subsequently added a giant green one to a roster of mascots that had previously comprised a lone parakeet and so it came to pass that all palmeirenses enveloped the pig in their warm embrace.

Join Niall McVeigh at 5.45pm (GMT) for Bigger Cup updates on Club Brugge 1-1 Aston Villa, while Scott Murray will be on hand at 8pm for Inter 2-1 Arsenal.

United cannot play the way we play, they cannot be so defensive. Of course it’s good to beat City. But I’ll be living in a different world” – Rúben Amorim, there, pouring a big jug of cold water all over the giddy hopes and dreams of Manchester United fans after Sporting’s 4-1 shellacking of the perennial Premier League champions.

Tuesday night was a disaster of epic proportions. After four years of continuing success by a brilliant team with world class leadership, our hopes were dashed resoundingly. It doesn’t augur well for the future and the winning man threatens to destroy all our hopes. (And Donald Trump defeating Kamara Harris wasn’t good news either)” – Don Berry (Manchester City fan for 70 years).

With reference to your previous letters on headlines, my favourite was when an unusually good performance from QPR’s Karl Ready back in the 90s led to the headline in the Ealing Gazette of ‘Top marks for Karl’” – David Rowland.

Milan comfortably beating the artist that used to be Real Madrid in Bigger Cup with four members of Frank Lampard’s transfer embargoed Chelsea (Pulisic, Tomori, Loftus-Cheek and Abraham) suggests that the Blues would have been far better off if they’d appealed to make the embargo permanent, not shorter” – Noble Francis.

Re: harsh red cards – I was playing in a top-of-the-table U18 junior league game and, on being fouled whilst going for goal and getting nothing from the ref, I uttered a frustrated swear word in a stage whisper which was clearly too loud. The ref, who was FA-approved while still the same age as the rest of us, shouted ‘No 10, come here, No 10!’ I trudged over to plead my case and he said: ‘I’m booking you for using foul language. What’s your name?’ I looked at him for a couple of seconds in disbelief. ‘What’s your name?’ he insisted. I said: ‘Mate … we’ve lived in the same street all our lives and been in the same class at school from the age of five to the present day. And you’re asking for my name?’ He promptly sent me off for (apparently) refusing to give my name. I subsequently had to appear before the County FA and was fined £4 – which at the time (1971) was two weeks’ paper round!” – Michael Goulding.

Send letters to mailto:[email protected]. Today’s letter o’ the day winner is … Michael Goulding, who lands a Football Weekly scarf. Terms and conditions for our competitions can be viewed here.

Our top, top cartoonist David Squires has a new book coming out on 5 December. It’s called Chaos in the Box and you can order now for a 20% discount.

The latest edition of our sister email is live: this week Suzanne Wrack implores us to watch the new documentary in which Spain’s players open up about the controlling environment and divisions that made playing for their national team an ordeal.

Former Chelsea and Republic of Ireland defender John Dempsey, who won the 1970 FA Cup and 1971 Cup Winners’ Cup, has died at the age of 78.

A lightning strike in Peru killed a 34-year-old player and injured five others. Hugo de la Cruz, of Familia Chocca, died in the ambulance en route to hospital after two strikes of lightning hit his side’s match against Juventud Bellavista in Huancayo province.

Former Manchester City defender Benjamin Mendy won a partial victory in his legal action against the club for more than £11m in unpaid wages after he was charged with and acquitted of sex offences. The tribunal judge Joanne Dunlop said Mendy “will be entitled to receive the majority of his unpaid salary, but not all of it”.

On a lively night of Bigger Cup action, Bayer Leverkusen received a proper schooling on Xabi Alonso’s return to Anfield, and the Bundesliga champions’ boss was quite beside himself with how good Arne Slot’s side were. “I think they are a complete team,” he cooed.

Meanwhile, former Liverpool gaffer Brendan Rogers showed signs of finally mastering this European football malarkey as Celtic stylishly downed RB Leipzig 3-1, and Real Madrid suffered another convincing defeat on home turf, Milan winning 3-1 at the Bernabéu.

In the Championship, Harrison Burrows scored in the 98th minute to give Sheffield United victory at Bristol City to lift the revitalised Blades to second place. Their city rivals Wednesday won too, as did Middlesbrough, Swansea, Plymouth and Oxford.

And Gianni Infantino has congratulated Donald Trump who, you may have heard, is president of the USA USA USA once again. “Congratulations Mr President!” he Marilyn Monroed. “We will have a great Fifa World Cup and a great Fifa Club World Cup in the United States of America! Football Unites the World!”

Cast your ballot at the 2024 Football Supporters’ Association Awards where Big Website has writers and podcasts up for gongs once again. Sadly, there still isn’t a best tea-timely email section. Anyway, you know what to do! VOTE! VOTE!! VOTE!!!

What’s ailing Manchester City? Jamie Jackson looks at the causes of the champions’ current slump.

Rúben Amorim is not a natural limelight-basker, but he left a warm glow around the Estádio José Alvalade after Sporting’s 4-1 shellacking of Manchester City, writes Simon Burnton.

Nick Ames explains the Balkan tensions afflicting Sparta Prague’s Bigger Cup campaign.

Ed Aarons unpicks Edu’s departure from Arsenal, featuring Kia Joorabchian and transfer bother.

How much longer will the unconvincing Robert Sánchez remain Chelsea’s No 1 keeper, wonders Ben McAleer.

Ever wondered what is the football match referred to in the random background cuttings on Have I Got News For You’s missing words round? Who first said “the game’s gone”? The Knowledge knows and many other things that might brighten your mood.

And our latest Serie A nostalgia-delve features a fantasy five-a-side team for Milan.

15 October 2016: So it turns out that pigs have been thrown on to the field of play in English football. But they were made of foam. Protesting Coventry fans flung hundreds of them on to the Valley pitch to disrupt their match against Charlton as they were relegated to League Two. They’ve come a long way since those dark days under the ownership of Sisu.