| Well, that was fun. Not so much the final, during which England’s players conceded just one goal but were largely outclassed before their Spanish counterparts celebrated their maiden victory in the Women’s World Cup. The medal presentation ceremony was simultaneously the stuff of dreams and nightmares, with Spanish Football Federation president Luis Rubiales provoking outrage by planting an unsolicited and unwanted smackeroo on the lips of one unlucky player. “I didn’t like it,” said Jenni Hermoso of a celebratory gesture that could be most charitably filed under “outrageously inappropriate over-familiarity”, although the Spanish forward subsequently changed her tune in quotations provided to the media by … the Spanish Football Federation. Rubiales would go on to dismiss those who condemned his inappropriate behaviour as “idiots and stupid people”, and while it is fair to say a fair few were exposed as idiotic and stupid throughout this splendid tournament, most of them were men such as Rubiales and the few remaining pub bores who continue to object to having women’s football ‘rammed down my throat’. One likes to think it was in their direction Mary Earps was venting when, moments after saving Hermoso’s spot-kick, she unleashed a guttural “EFF OFF!” into the Sydney night sky. It was a great World Cup. One that, from an English perspective, was only slightly diminished by the Lionesses’ inability to win. Sarina Wiegman’s squad can look forward to a warm welcome home despite coming up a little short. Australia and New Zealand were always going to put on a good show and matches weren’t scheduled for as Stupid O’Clock as some in the UK and Ireland originally feared, where the night and day are at the correct time, unlike Down Under. Having laid down a marker in a pre-tournament unfriendly against the Girls in Green that had to be cut short after one scything tackle too many, Colombia were the tournament’s surprise package, capturing the hearts of many neutrals with spirited displays spearheaded by the wonderfully gifted Linda Caicedo. Japan, Morocco, Jamaica and the Sheilaroos also turned heads, while the USA USA USA and Germany merely raised eyebrows with campaigns that were surprisingly sub-par. Following a tournament that threw up two of the most thrilling penalty shootouts in football history, the future of the women’s game in some developing nations also seems poised on a knife-edge. Laurels should not be rested upon and while a lot has obviously been done, there is plenty more for assorted federations still to do. Sell-out crowds in which snarling faces and foaming mouths were conspicuously absent show that here is a thing worth treasuring. What’s more, it remains entirely optional viewing, so if you don’t like it feel free to follow the advice of a certain England goalkeeper. | 