Chris “Pacemaker” Chataway, Henry “Ammer” Cooper, Princess “John Reid” Anne, David “Bank Clerk” Steele, Steve “Kellogg’s Start” Cram, Torvill “And” Dean, Steve “Interesting” Davis, Michael “Confidence” Owen, Andy “Knack” Murray, Mark “Cav” Cavendish, Lewis “Hammo” Hamilton and, last year, Beth “Meado” Mead: winners, one and all. Yes, Spoty season is here. And the expected winner this year, to make it two Lionesses in a row, is Mary Earps, England’s they-shall-not-pass goalie in their run to the 2023 Women’s World Cup final.

Next Tuesday, Gary Lineker, Clare Balding, Gabby Logan and Alex Scott will present the 70th edition of the annual awards and it will be the usual mash-up of highlights, interviews, montages and what used to be known as “wheezes” – think Damon Hill in a go-kart race while Colin Jackson or John Virgo play trick shots with Sandy Lyle’s putter.

Earps is a credit to Manchester United, an unimpeachable star in a manner way beyond any of Erik ten Hag’s duffers. She also, and this is what used to be a common green-ink complaint in the event’s 1990s and 2000s heyday of giving gongs to people who efficiently won stuff and/or drove vroom-vroom cars, actually has a personality. She delivered a special moment, too.

It’s hardly women’s football’s version of the Sex Pistols’ Bill Grundy interview but it will be interesting to see how Auntie Beeb shows Earpsy’s most iconic (yuk, sorry) moment. Her penalty save from Spain’s Jennifer Hermoso in the World Cup final, and its celebration – “[eff]ing yes, [eff] off” – was as relatable as any sporting moment of 2023. All of the previous winners required their unique selling point, from 1975’s Steele fending off the fury of the flamin’ Australian quick-bowling attack to Princess Anne and Zara Phillips being actual members of the Royal Family.

Still, this is a democratic event, voted for by the Great British public, and thus those pub-bore types who still refuse to roll out the “welcome” mat for women’s football will just have to grump through the evening. Not only is Earps the clear bookies’ favourite, she’s also top commercial property. Monday saw the latest batch of Earps England No 1 shirts sell out in five minutes from the FA’s online store. That followed Earps herself raising a query why these weren’t on sale while she was in Australia. In October, her shirts subsequently sold in record time and now, pub bores listen up, in the same quantities as an England men’s keeper.

“I grew up thinking about going to university. I was alone. I was reading a lot of books. I was spending a lot of time playing PlayStation or sleeping in the afternoon or something. Why cannot I use this time to continue to study? I was also interested in sports business and the point of view on the American side” – Giorgio Chiellini, who wanted to pursue medicine like his father and earned his master’s in business administration from the University of Turin while at Juventus, explains the decision to leave for LAFC wasn’t just related to development on the pitch. And he’s only gone and retired since this interview was published, hasn’t he?

As someone who rather sadly has to be on TwiXer for work purposes, I was just hoping everyone outside of the social media disgrace would ignore Barton’s latest nonsensical rants attempting to reinvent and rehabilitate himself yet again. As the late, great Linda Smith once famously said of former MP Neil Hamilton (all the way back in the days when the Conservative party was still in government but falling apart due to incompetence and corruption. Ahem …): ‘I don’t really like you saying his name, because it gives him the oxygen of publicity and I’m not happy with him having the oxygen of oxygen” –Noble Francis.

I’m surprised that no political hack has reported that ‘Sunak has lost the dressing room’” – Kevin Worley.

Kalvin Phillips should tell Pep to stick his apology where the sun don’t shine and come back home to Leeds. We should be the ones apologising for not fighting harder to keep him at Elland Road” – Mick Beeby.

Call yourself a journalist [um … Football Daily Ed]! Obviously, Everton’s win over Chelsea was not interesting enough for you to make any comments. Three wins, no goals conceded. Hello, wake up please! Maybe you could give us your thoughts on our appeal but I am not holding my breath” – Anthony Astbury.

Stop talking about sacking David Moyes (yesterday’s news, bits and bobs – full email edition) and start building a statue of him” – Hamish Brown.

With the profusion of acronyms in yesterday’s Still Want Mores may I congratulate Richard Herring on his appointment at Daily Towers” – Darren Leathley.

That’s not an acronym. It’s an abbreviation. First of a number of pedants” – Guy Redmill (and, bizarrely, no others).

Send any letters to [email protected]. Today’s letter o’ the day winner is … Kevin Worley, who gets a copy of Reign of the Lionesses, published by Pitch Publishing. Visit their brilliant football book store here.

It’s your man, David Squires, with his latest cartoon featuring Roy “The Boy” Hodgson, Wolverine and Sean Dyche as a threatening lemon.

A Turkish court has ordered the arrest of Ankaragucu’s club president Faruk Koca for punching a referee in the face at the end of a Super Lig match, and also remanded in custody two other suspects over the violence that has led to the league’s suspension.

One in five players at this year’s Women’s World Cup were the targets of online abuse, with homophobic, sexist and sexualised messages accounting for more than half of the abusive posts.

Barcelona forward Asisat Oshoala has been named women’s African footballer of the year, while Nigeria and Napoli striker Victor Osimhen has claimed the men’s gong. “I have to thank everybody who has helped me on this journey, and all Africans who have helped to put me on the map despite my faults,” roared Osimhen.

A Big Cup dead rubber and a growing list of knacked players can only mean one thing: it’s wonderkid time. Arsenal’s Ethan Nwaneri, Reuell Walters and Lino Sousa are in the squad to face PSV. “Three big prospects,” Arteta swooned. “They deserve to be here. We will try to give them the opportunity if we can.”

More insightful GOAT chat incoming: Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo will meet in Saudi Arabia after all after Inter Miami confirmed that they will take part in the Riyadh Season Cup early next year.

Scott McTominay: optimist.

And like an unfortunate regular at your local speed dating meet, Chelsea are ready to get hurt again in the January transfer window. A new striker is wanted, although the Blues may have to settle for the returning Christopher Nkunku – the £58m summer signing who is yet to make a competitive appearance due to knee-knack – after Premier League shareholders voted to cap amortisation at five years. Perhaps they will need a new right back, too, with Reece James’ latest hamstring twang setting the England defender back for about three months.

Wayne Rooney and Ryan Giggs eat your hearts out. Presumably inspired by the Manchester United corner kick of 2009, AFC Hackleton managed to score the cheekiest of goals from a sneaky corner routine, the sort of footballing devilry that should be celebrated and encouraged, akin to when Coventry’s Dion Dublin caught Newcastle’s Shay Given unawares by somehow hiding behind him at a goal kick, or Dean Saunders’ impudent goal for Sheffield United after taking a throw-in against the opposing goalkeeper’s back. But back to Hackleton and 2023, as the team’s No 7 slyly tapped the ball outside of the quadrant, and the No 66 dribbled into Hazelwell FC’s penalty area unopposed, before thwacking it into the top bins. Unlike that United corner kick, Hackleton’s effort wasn’t disallowed and they went on to win 3-0. A lovely little bit of business.

“Why would he try to rebrand himself in the cloaks of mainstream far-right populism? Perhaps the more operative question is: why wouldn’t he?” Jonathan Liew on Joey Barton’s far-right rebrand and football’s lost boys.

Fear? Yes. Loathing? No, apparently. David Hytner previews a big week for Manchester United, starting with their Big Cup tie against Bayern Munich.

And Jonathan Wilson loves a pyramid. And a Premier League paradigm, especially when it’s shifting. Here’s his latest blog on Aston Villa, taken from our shiny new(ish) US newsletter, which you can sign up to here!

More Dion Dublin hot chat: the great man stands next to Nelson Mandela on Manchester United’s 1993 tour of South Africa, with the picture also featuring David Beckham, Darren Ferguson and … Mike Phelan! Don’t get those three mixed up, now.