Ruben Amorim’s idea of a good headline is unlikely to earn him a senior editorial position at the home of such front-page zingers as “WORLD WAR 2 BOMBER FOUND ON MOON” and “STATUE OF ELVIS FOUND ON MOON” that is the Sunday Sport. However, since arriving in England the Manchester United manager has taken it upon himself to make the working lives of the Manchester press pack easier, when perhaps he might be better advised to deal with some of the many shambles they have been forced to report on from Old Trafford this season that fall within his remit.

Rather than come up with a plan to help his players win on Sunday, the Portuguese manager waited until they had lost against Brighton for the fifth time in their past six Premier League meetings before volunteering the soundbite he knew would send reporters home happy. “We are the worst team maybe in the history of Manchester United,” he tooted. “I know you want headlines but I am saying that because we have to acknowledge that and to change that. Here you go: your headlines.” Amorim didn’t have to offer twice and – with just one exception – the main UK back-page banners duly highlighted, or in some cases felt the need to exaggerate, his bold but inaccurate claim.

While it is an incontrovertible fact that there have been worse Manchester United teams in history, it is fair to say there has not been a worse one in Amorim’s 39 years on this earth. Then again, if he can’t get the current rabble swanning around Old Trafford to buck up their ideas, there is every chance they’ll fail to emulate the 13th-place finish masterminded by Alex Ferguson before he began scaling the dizzy heights that have so many #haterz of a certain age gleefully revelling in the club’s current misfortunes. What is fairly beyond dispute is that, pound for pound, this is definitely the worst United team in history, given the players who started against Brighton cost the thick end of £400m and were augmented by a bench – players unable to force their way into this team – that cost almost £300m. If nothing else, the numbers lend credence to Dolly Parton’s breezily self-deprecating line about it costing her an awful lot of money to make herself look “this cheap”.

Given that they have a better stadium, better owner, better chief suit, better scouting, better recruitment, better players and a better team, it was no great surprise that Brighton beat United at Old Trafford for the third time on the spin under three different managers, but Football Daily is confident that Big Sir Jim, Big Sir Dave and the Executive Ineos Hive Mind have some marginal gain or world-class basic up their collective sleeve that involves a plan more proactive than simply waiting for their imminent cure-all therapy session with Dr Tottenham in mid-February. Otherwise, their manager’s claim that he is managing maybe the worst team in the club’s history could yet become an unthinkable, but highly-amusing reality.

Join Scott Murray at 8pm GMT for red-hot Premier League minute-by-minute updates of Chelsea 3-2 Wolves.

I’m ready to get training and get in the ring. I’ve always been interested in having boxing matches. But every time it’s come up, it’s either not been the right time or the right opponent. I’m 44 years old. I always tell my kids to step out of their comfort zone, so let’s have a go. I haven’t watched loads of [KSI]. I’ve seen a few clips away from the fights. I know he’s a YouTuber, but that’s more for the younger generation. I won’t watch him” – former Chelsea and England left-back Wayne Bridge might not have the pay-per-view pulling power of Mike Tyson, but he’s the latest sportsman way past his peak to agree to a naff bout with a social media abomination to get some online clicks. After bringing up some history, the ‘fight’ now takes place in Manchester on 29 March.

Time for a bit of perspective now. The King of the Stretford End died on Friday aged 84. Denis Law was a true Manchester United and Scotland great. He scored 237 goals in 404 appearances for the Red Devils and was the last surviving member of Old Trafford’s “Holy Trinity”, following the deaths of George Best in 2005 and Sir Bobby Charlton in 2023. Bryan Robson, who worked with Law in an ambassadorial role for the club, called him a “fantastic man” and said: “We have lost one of football’s giants both as a player and a gentleman. It’s incredibly sad.” Sir Alex Ferguson was among those who placed wreaths at Old Trafford on Sunday while Flower of Scotland was played by a piper in tribute. The legendary manager described Law as “the best Scottish player of all time”. Law also played for Manchester City and tributes were paid to him at the Etihad before the WSL Manchester derby, along with Portman Road, where City’s men’s team dazzled in a manner befitting of Law, in their 6-0 defeat of Ipswich. Rest in peace, Denis.

Here’s Richard Williams on the balletic superstar. Will Unwin spoke to fans at Old Trafford as they celebrated The King. And take a look at Law’s life and career – in pictures.

Remember around a decade ago when Armando Iannucci said that ‘The Thick of It’ couldn’t return as politics had got so ridiculous that it was impossible to satirise it? Increasingly, I think that about Football Daily with Manchester United and Spurs” – Noble Francis.

Ruben Amorim, or more likely the person who fed him the question, doesn’t know his history. This isn’t even 1973-74 United, well done for both bringing that up and then tiptoeing around the subject this weekend, but 1980-81 United, a collection of underperforming stalwarts who’d won the odd FA Cup, underperforming youth signings, anticipated, but yes, underperforming foreign signings and Garry Bloody Birtles, who gave a masterclass in mediocre to a constant media chunter. (Eighth in the league and lost to Widzew Lodz, since you ask). This was, I recall, about the time from which every commentator was constantly obliged to remind you that they hadn’t won the title since 1967, as if calendars were as rare in 1980s Britain as secure work, money and civil rights for minority groups. At least that’s changed, eh?” – Jon Millard.

TS Eliot may have thought April was the cruellest month, but he wasn’t au fait with modern football management. I reckon that, reading up the table, Southampton, Leicester and Manchester United might decide they are no longer starry-eyed and laughing (the real poet of the 20th/21st centuries) about their recent managerial appointments and that we could see a possibly-unprecedented three clubs change managers twice in a season? Throw in Ange Postecoglou and January could well surpass April in cruelty” – Richard Hirst.

Send letters to [email protected]. Today’s winner of our letter o’ the day is … Jon Millard, who wins some Football Weekly merch. We’ll be in touch. Terms and conditions for our competitions can be viewed here.

Ange Postecoglou is on thin ice after letting a team that can’t score wallop three past them but Daniel Levy will wait until after matches against Hoffenheim and Leicester before making a decision on the manager’s future.

Meanwhile, after that 3-2 win over Spurs, Iliman Ndiaye reckons David Moyes has found a solution to Everton’s goalscoring problem by asking the forwards to run, um, forwards. “The way we are structured the strikers need to go forward more when we regain the ball,” he honked. “We are closer to the goal and closer to each other.”

Marc Skinner is particularly delighted for Ella Toone, after her hat-trick for Manchester United in the 4-2 derby win at City. “We all know what she’s been through,” he said. “I just want her to love football again and she’s in a really good space to do that.”

There’s another dashing young Portuguese manager on the market should Manchester United’s men’s team need a different one, after Porto sent Vitor Bruno packing.

Barrow have shown Stephen Clemence the door marked Do One after a 2-0 defeat by Swindon left them languishing 17th in League Two.

And Ben Brereton Díaz has gone ambling back into the arms of Chris Wilder at Sheffield United on loan from Southampton. “I always had it in the back of my mind when he left us at the end of the season that one day we’d reunite,” gushed Wilder. “He impressed so many people in a difficult season.”

You want talking points from the weekend’s action? Well here are our offerings from the WSL and Premier League. Get stuck in!

Paul Lambert gets his chat on with Michael Butler about the wild gamble to leave Motherwell for Borussia Dortmund, getting the better of Zinedine Zidane in the 1997 Big Cup final and the tough decision to return to Scotland a few months later.

Andy Brassell on Leon Goretzka, who is “not wanted, but needed” by Bayern Munich.

If ever there was a game to convince you that Napoli really could win the league this season – for only the fourth time in their history – Saturday’s win over title rivals Atalanta may have been it, writes Nicky Bandini.

Philippe Auclair charts Éric Roy’s epic journey from unwanted one to special one as Brest’s fairytale run in Bigger Cup continues.

The craziest thing about Erling Haaland’s £500,000-a-week salary? It makes sense, argues Sean Ingle.

And Monday’s Rumour Mill will see you now, with a sensational return to Santos for Josh Windass Neymar on the cards.

20 July 1987: Gerry Francis makes us pine for warmer days and, erm, financial security as he peruses the FT by the side of his pool shortly after ending his playing career.