Not content with prompting scenes of unbridled jubilation at Turf Moor by securing promotion to the Premier League after a one-year absence, Burnley’s win over Sheffield United also sparked similar, if less densely populated scenes of elation across t’Pennines in yonder Leeds. Sporting shades and busting the kind of moves you don’t often see in the formal surrounds of Elland Road’s Lorimer Suite, Largie Ramazani was still dressed in full kit almost three hours after the 6-0 slaughter of Stoke. He was also the conspicuous life and soul of a party in which his teammates could be seen whooping, hollering and popping champagne corks safe in the knowledge that Burnley’s blunting of the Blades confirmed they’d be returning to the top tier too. Inside one ground and outside another, the euphoria of players and fans of both teams knew no bounds.

And why would it? Having booked their places in next season’s Premier League, both clubs can now look forward to being installed as white-hot favourites to go straight back down again, while angrily dismissing the naysayers and coming up with a plan to help ensure they are not quite as bad as West Ham and two other teams. While Football Daily is prepared to concede that pouring buckets of ice-cold water over the respective parades of Burnley and Leeds fans less than a day after their teams have won promotion may smack of bah humbug curmudgeonliness, now the empty fizz bottles have been consigned to the recycling bins and the celebratory smoke bombs have dissipated, plenty of shrewdies in Burnley and Leeds will be examining the quite frankly dismal top-flight records of their respective managers and thinking the same. Whether or not those in the Turf Moor and Elland Road boardrooms are among them and heartless enough to pull the trigger sooner rather than later remains to be seen.

Following Sheffield United’s poorly-timed late season wobble, Chris Wilder’s hopes of returning to his lofty status – as a Premier League manager in front of whom post-match sandwich-eating by match officials is frowned upon – are now pinned on the playoffs, where Sunderland are also guaranteed a spot. With just a couple of games to go, the other two places are currently occupied by Liam Manning’s Bristol City and Coventry, while Michael Carrick’s Middlesbrough and Alex Neil’s Millwall are also knocking on the door. At the bottom end of the table it’s also still all to play for, with four of the bottom six winning on Monday, among them the long-term basement-dwellers Plymouth doing a dogged impersonation of a floater that refuses to flush. Meanwhile in what some would have you believe is The Best League In The World™, the excitable babble is all about who will come fifth.

Join Scott Murray at 8pm (BST) for red-hot updates on Manchester City 0-0 Aston Villa.

I think I showed I could do it [on a cold, rainy night in Stoke] many times. It was very windy there and the fans were always behind us – it was a loud stadium” – Xherdan Shaqiri reckons he is living proof that tricky little flair players can deal with the often grim conditions that come with playing football on top of a hill in north Staffordshire.

The unbridled joy of promotions for Leeds, Burnley and probably Sheffield United before their inevitable relegations this time next year leads me to conclude we need a new competition. We could call it the Parachute League. Get relegated from the Premier League and you go into this with your shed-load of money along with the top three in the Championship. So Leeds, Burnley, Sheffield United, Southampton, Ipswich, Leicester could play each other for ever with perhaps Norwich and West Brom added for good measure. This would save the rest of us having to watch them getting hammered each week, and would make the Championship fairer for the rest who don’t get money for failure. We need to add to this a new individual award. We could call it the Mourinho Cup. It would be awarded to the manager making the most excuses not involving himself in a season. Previous winners would have included Chris Wilder, Chris Wilder and, er, Chris Wilder. A special award for anyone who makes an original excuse but there wouldn’t have been any winners of that over the last couple of seasons” – Jonathan Harris.

Of course, the great thing about this ‘Back where we belong’ quote is that both Leeds and Burnley will be able to use it at this time next season too” – Noble Francis.

In the comments section of Big Website the other day, someone (sorry, I can’t find the line) suggested that both Manchester United and Spurs would find a way to get to the Bigger Vase final, and then both would find a way to lose. They might be right” – Colum Farrelly.

Send letters to [email protected]. Today’s letter o’ the day winner is … Jonathan Harris, who wins a copy of The Scouting Game, by Chris Robinson and courtesy of Pitch Publishing. Visit their bookshop here. Terms and conditions for our competitions can be viewed here.

It’s David Squires on … Niclas Füllkrug’s angry assessment of the West Ham Way.

Norwich have bundled Johannes Hoff Thorup through the door marked Do One, with Jumpin’ Jack Wilshere taking interim charge until the end of the season. And Tony Mowbray has been sacked by West Brom, too.

Pep Guardiola has asked Manchester City fans to pump up the volume for their “final” with fellow top-five contenders Aston Villa. “We need them – we need them desperately, to support us, to make noise and be there all the time,” he roared.

Jamie Vardy, 78, has apologised to Leicester fans for the “total embarrassment” of the club’s relegation. “Collectively, as players and as a club, we failed,” he wailed. “There is simply no hiding, and I refuse to entertain any suggestion of doing so.”

There was not much for Ange Postecoglou to be happy about during Spurs’ 2-1 defeat by Nottingham Forest on Monday but he may have cracked a smile at hearing the news that eight minutes of the match was played without VAR when a fire alarm led to the evacuation of Stockley Park.

And Union Saint-Gilloise boss Sebastien Pocognoli has apologised after one of his staff members was sent off against Genk for throwing an extra ball on to the pitch (as you might see in a Sunday league match) which interrupted a last-minute attack. “This normally only happens in amateur football,” huffed Genk midfielder Jarne Steuckers. “It’s not because of that we lost, but this is very unprofessional. You can do a lot to get a win over the line, but not this.” Union later revealed reserve goalkeeper and former Genk player Vic Chambaere was the guilty party. “Our kit manager was wrongfully sent off for this incident,” sniffed Union in a statement. “This is an action that [we] strongly disapprove of and which does not reflect our values.”

Football Daily is old enough to remember the days when a player buying into a club would lead us to believe that they’d invested in a trendy city centre nightspot called Flares, Chic, Buzz or some such. Heck, we’re so ancient we can even remember a few who set up market stalls. But these days buying a club means just that. David Beckham with Inter Miami, Zlatan Ibrahimovic causing uproar by investing in Hammarby, Kylian Mbappé with SM Caen and, more recently, Luka Modric becoming a co-owner at Swansea. And now the former Celtic, Lyon and Fulham striker Moussa Dembélé has bought into, erm, FK Minija Kretinga.

A quick Google suggests they are a Lithuanian amateur club who sit ninth in the second-tier standings. Bizarre, yes. But it turns out Dembélé is a director for Triple M Sports Investments Limited, who apparently love a random club in their portfolio. “They now know more about Kretinga than I do. This is a win not only for Kretinga but for all Lithuanian football. We will now move from away from an amateur club to a professional one,” cheered the club’s chief suit, Vidas Burb. Dembélé is still only 28 and on the books at Saudi club Al-Ettifaq, which may explain why he has plenty spare change to invest in Eastern European football.

Why the Northern Super League can change football in Canada for good. It’s Sophie Downey with the latest edition of our sister email, Moving the Goalposts.

Scott Parker has already proven himself a man of integrity and respect by keeping on his suit jacket throughout Burnley’s promotion celebrations. But can he keep them up next season? Will Unwin considers.

Lyon and PSG have lessons to learn after careless performances in Europe, writes Luke Entwistle – such as the difference between “less” and “fewer” adds the Daily, whose Portuguese is of course as fluent as Paulo Fonseca’s English.

The NHS may be struggling, but you can always rely on Dr Tottenham. Ed Aarons reflects on another successful intervention.

And who wasn’t moved by Robbie Savage and Rio Ferdinand and Robbie Savage replacing commentary with self-referential partiality? Er, Jonathan Liew.

West Ham players celebrate in the Stamford Bridge dressing room following their 2-1 win over Ipswich Town in the 1975 FA Cup semi-final replay – the first game, at Villa Park, had finished goalless. Pictured from left to right are Trevor Brooking, Pat Holland, Alan Taylor – who scored both their goals in the game, then both goals as they beat Fulham 2-0 in the final – Bobby Gould, an unidentified player with a towel, Graham Paddon (dressed in the understated fashion of the time) and John McDowell.