“You lost the league at Goodison Park,” serenaded the Everton fans as Liverpool’s players trudged off the pitch on Wednesday evening after their 2-0 defeat, the footballing equivalent of Nelson Muntz giving his teacher a wedgie and yelling: “Ha Ha!” And while Football Daily is convinced that Jürgen Klopp understands the literal translation of schadenfreude, it’s rare that the Liverpool manager has been on the receiving end of the concept. This defeat at Goodison was the first and last of Klopp’s nine-year tenure, and Liverpool’s first defeat at their neighbours’ ground since 2010.

What a game association football is. In almost no other sport could a losing team “win” every other statistic – possession, chances, etc – and deservingly lose the game. But Liverpool did just that, and can really have no complaints. Make it make sense. Last Monday Everton were thrashed 6-0 by Chelsea (Chelsea!), which left the Toffees hovering above the bottom three like a nervous potty-training toddler using the toilet for the first time. But after two crucial wins over Forest and Liverpool, Everton are now eight points clear of 18th-placed Luton with four games to go. It’s nearly time for Sean Dyche to ditch the touchline tracksuit for his Glastonbury outfit (bucket hat, Superdry T-shirt, Billabong surfer shorts, Adidas Sambas) and push Ian Woan into the mosh pit with Premier League survival secured.

For Liverpool, out of the FA Cup, dumped out of Big Vase and now seemingly out of the title race, the mood was less Green Day and more Dire Straits. “It’s a mix of everything,” lamented Virgil van Dijk. “You can’t put a finger on it. It’s confidence, inexperience, challenges, maybe afraid to make mistakes in this part of the season. I don’t know … we have to stick together. We can’t have groups blaming each other.” Which is convenient, because fans could be forgiven for blaming the backline after letting Dominic Calvert-Lewin have a free run at the back post and give Everton a 2-0 lead in what was one of the most predictable corner routines of the modern era.

Arne Slot seems like a popular choice to replace Klopp and, mercifully for Football Daily, the new man has a name that is easy to spell, has no umlauts and rolls off the tongue like a pound coin disappearing into the nearest fruit machine. Slot also “fits the Anfield profile”, with Liverpool’s data nerds handily identifying the Dutchman as being quite good at “winning”. Feyenoord, last season’s Eredivisie winners, won this season’s Dutch Cup on Sunday but as Afonso Alves, Vincent Janssen, Alireza Jahanbakhsh, Davy Klaassen, Jürgen Locadia, Jozy Altidore, Bryan Ruiz, Davinson Sánchez, Andy van der Meyde and Luuk de Jong have proved, being a hit in the Netherlands does not a Premier League great make. You might want Arjen Robben in a Ferrari, but end up with Marco Boogers in a caravan. The future is not always orange.

Attention now turns back to Liverpool’s title rivals Manchester City – who will be looking not to slip on the banana skin that is Brighton on Thursday evening – and Arsenal, who face a daunting trip across north London to Tottenham this weekend. The Gunners famously won the league at the Lane 20 years ago. Mikel Arteta will be hoping he doesn’t trudge off at full-time on Sunday to the chant of “you lost the league at Tottenham” ringing around his ears.

Join Michael Butler from 8pm BST for hot Premier League minute-by-minute coverage of Brighton 1-2 Manchester City.

27 January: “It wears you down terribly, in terms of health, of mental health, your mood, your emotional state. I am a positive guy but the energy goes down, down, down, until the point at which you say: it makes no sense, no sense to continue” – Xavi announces he’ll leave Barcelona at the end of the season.

25 April: “It wasn’t a question of ego or money, it’s a question of the club’s wellbeing and a matter of confidence in what we are doing” – Xavi’s new fount of energy means a U-turn. Sid Lowe has more.

Re: the introduction of ‘VAR Lite’ in the Cymru Premier (yesterday’s News, Bits and Bobs, full email edition). That suggests a version of VAR without the usual high levels of accuracy, integrity, consistency and efficient decision-making. Anyone know the Welsh for ‘good luck with that’?” – Tim Clarke.

Re: the reference to former Chelsea players with a Jethro Tull song (‘skating away on the thin ice of a new day’, yesterday’s Football Daily) it struck me that there a quite a few Tull songs could apply to Chelsea. Living in the Past, New Day Yesterday, and Wind Up just for starters” – Stephen Hodgson.

Re: John Barnes (yesterday’s Quote of the Day). Surely he should have known about paying his tax, he famously rapped about it in 1990: ‘You’ve got to hold and give but do it at the right time, you can be slow or fast but you need to get to the line.’ The ‘line’ here being the signing line of a cheque to the taxman” – Brian Fleming.

You’ve got to pay what you owe
But do it at the right time.
You can be slow or fast
But you must evade the fine.

They’ll always hunt you and charge you,
Defence and attacks.
There’s only one way to beat them:
Avoid paying tax.

Catch me if you can
The John Barnes Media man
Hiding from the HMRC
Is my master plan.

No corporation tax,
Has been paid for so long,
Almost £200,000
I know we can’t go wrong” – Mike Rice.

Send letters to [email protected]. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’ the day is … Mike Rice.

Fleetwood United are champions of the UAE second division. Obviously. But how did it come to pass? John Duerden explains why the Cod Army have cast their net wide in a bid to become the most unlikely global brand in the game.

Tributes have been paid to former Sunderland and Republic of Ireland defender Charlie Hurley following his death at the age of 87.

Fifa, which failed in its bid to get Visit Saudi as a backer of last year’s Women’s World Cup, has now managed to get Aramco on board to sponsor the next edition. “We look forward to collaborating with them on a variety of initiatives over the coming years,” whooped Gianni Infantino of the energy company majority-owned by the Saudi Arabian government.

Moroccan club Renaissance Berkane have been awarded a 3-0 win over hosts USM Alger in the first leg of their African Confederation Cup semi-final, despite refusing to play when their kit was confiscated by Algerian customs. Their shirts display a small map of Morocco, including the disputed territory of Western Sahara which is at the centre of frosty relations between the neighbours.

Battle of Britain news: the Scottish Cup final will kick off at the same time as the FA Cup final at 3pm on 25 May. Last year the Scottish FA caught flak after controversially opting to move the Hampden kick-off to 5.30pm.

While Gary O’Neil’s powder remains dry, Wolves forward Matheus Cunha has been having a good grumble about the officiating in their 1-0 loss at home to Bournemouth. “It is hard, many times we have lost points to a hard decision,” he wailed, “and many times we see some things on the TV and they are always sorry but the next game it happens again.”

Sheffield United have made history, congra … ah. Yes, their 4-2 defeat at Manchester United means the Blades have now conceded 92 goals, a Premier League record in a 38-game season, and are now just nine away from eclipsing Swindon’s mark from a 42-match campaign in 1993-94. “The ball goes in the back of our net too easy,” parped boss Chris Wilder astutely.

A 2-0 victory at home to Newcastle means Crystal Palace have ensured their top-flight status for a 12th straight season. “It’s a good feeling to complete mission No 1 mathematically and I hope the players get addicted to winning games,” whooped Eagles manager Oliver Glasner.

Enzo Fernández is done for the season, groin-twang ruling him out of Chelsea’s remaining games.

And French president Emmanuel Macron has been attempting to show off his sporting abilities in the run-up to Big Sports Day in Paris this year, scoring from the spot in a charity match to benefit children in hospital. Macron’s team, which included Eden Hazard, Didier Drogba and Didier Deschamps, claimed a 5-3 victory over a side featuring Arsène Wenger and Samuel Eto’o.

The latest edition of our sister email is out now and you can read an extract here, as Júlia Belas Trindade explains why Santos have found themselves at the centre of controversy in Brazil. You can subscribe too and get the full edition of the newsletter in your inbox every Tuesday and Thursday.

Data helped Grimsby to stay up but love and connection kept us going, explains chairman Jason Stockwood.

Arsenal are gunning for the title and Tottenham are inconsistent, but mentality will be key in the north London derby, writes Karen Carney.

That said, Spurs will miss Destiny Udogie at both ends of the pitch on Sunday, reckons Ben McAleer.

PSG are resting, rotating and still running riot in Ligue 1. Dortmund better beware in Big Cup, warns Eric Devin.

And Will Unwin was at Goodison to see Sean Dyche’s big tracksuit energy shock a weary Liverpool into submission.

To April 1934, where referee S F Evans is describing the offside rule on a blackboard to public school masters at Mill Hill School in London. We’re not quite sure how horizontal those lines are, mind …