The year is 2002. It’s only 9am but you’ve already sunk two pints of industrial-strength lager. In his BBC commentary, John Motson has mentioned cornflakes at least three times. Ronaldinho is standing over a free-kick, with England and Brazil locked at 1-1 in their World Cup quarter-final, soon after Rivaldo’s clinical equaliser. This will be no trouble for the commanding figure of David Seaman in goal, right? Wrong. The seemingly innocuous ball arcs up from Ronaldinho’s boot, over the head of the statuesque Seaman, and nestles in the far corner of the net. Cafu, Ronaldo and Ronaldinho prance with delight by the corner flag. The history of England’s attempts to beat Brazil at football is thus summed up in a few bizarre seconds.

Ronaldinho is soon to be sent off for a studs-up tackle on Danny Mills but the die is cast. England’s deep absence of belief when it comes to taking on the world’s most famous footballing nation is exposed yet again. Of course, there have been occasional flashes of brilliance: John Barnes’ dribble at the Maracanã in 1984 springs to mind, along with Graeme Le Saux’s belting half-volley back in 1995. There have been iconic moments too, most famously Bobby Moore and Pelé shaking hands, tops off and smiling, as they exchange shirts in 1970. But overall England’s tale of the tape against Brazil is undistinguished: four wins from 26, with 11 draws and 11 defeats. Brazil have won three out of four World Cup meetings (1962, 1970 and 2002) with a goalless draw in 1958.

With Euro 2024 in sight, Gareth Southgate’s team have an opportunity to make it five out of 27, but the weight of history has never meant much to these players. We’re talking about a team that won a penalty shootout at a World Cup, never mind that they also beat Germany in an actual knockout tie. One relevant piece of history is that Joe Gomez – back with England for the first time since 2020 – was man of the match on his second appearance for his country in the most recent meeting with Brazil, a goalless November 2017 draw at Wembley.

Back in 2013, Le Saux remembered that famous hit under Terry Venables at Wembley. England went on to lose 3-1. His overriding memory? “The kit was awful.” Don’t mention kits, Graeme, please …

Join Simon Burnton for red-hot friendly updates on Netherlands 0-0 Scotland from 7.45pm GMT.

“We’re Saturday, Tuesday, Friday, Monday, Thursday, Saturday, Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday, Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday – oh, and we have to fit into there somewhere the abandoned Eastbourne game from Tuesday night” – Truro City boss Craig David Paul Wotton lays out the fixture chaos awaiting his National League South side, who have to wedge 13 matches into 28 days as the season draws to a close.

Social media disgrace talk of England’s new football shirt being ‘woke’ (yesterday’s Football Daily), which is so depressing that it almost makes me long for the annual ‘why isn’t James Maclean wearing a poppy’ debate, reminds me of the guy who said he tried watching The Sopranos but the first word he heard was ‘woke’, so he turned it off immediately” – Noble Francis.

Typical of total left-wing, woke cobblers, your ‘article’ illustrates how out of touch you are regarding the patriotic, yes patriotic sentiment surrounding the cherished St George’s flag. If you need this to be ‘explained’ you are dimmer than I thought. If your paper was free, I would only use it to wipe my bottom. Have a nice day” – Laurie Turner.

If Nike really wanted to boil some blood, they should have put the European Union flag on the collar. Da Iawn Cymru, by the way” – Anthony Salisbury.

Am I the only one who thinks the statue of Harry Kane (yesterday’s Football Daily) looks more like Martin Fry, front man of 1980s popsters ABC? Appropriate really, as it looks like it’s made of chocolate” – Richard Morganstern (and no others).

If they can’t find a place for Kane’s statue in north London, I’m sure a spot outside Carrow Road could be found. It would be quite appropriate after his loan spell in the fine city was spent mostly on the bench. The addition of a banjo as he stares wistfully into the distance for a cow’s backside would complete the picture of his time there” – David Branch.

Send letters to [email protected]. Today’s winner of our letter o’ the day is … David Branch, who gets the last copy of Too Good to be Forgotten, published by Pitch Publishing. Visit their book store here.

Football Daily often thinks that moaning about VAR is the preserve of spoilt club fans in the Premier League, but spare a thought for supporters of international minnows Luxembourg. With their team 1-0 down and chasing an historic result against Georgia in their Euro 2024 playoff, Gerson Rodrigues swivelled and fired home to bring the score level at 1-1 and send endorphins whizzing through Red Lions supporters’ jacked-up veins. Or at least he though he had. You see, in the minutes before the goal a VAR check had been taking place on a potential penalty to Georgia down the other end.

It was an interruption that lasted five minutes, at the end of which referee José María Sánchez was sent to his monitor to have a look at the incident. Penalty, right? Wrong. Instead, Sánchez gave a foul outside the box and sent off Luxembourg defender Maxime Chanot for denying a clear goalscoring opportunity. With their spirit crushed and only 10 men to carry the fight in Tbilisi (the international equivalent of Stoke away), Luxembourg conceded again and watched history disappear over the horizon.

The FA “was always fully aware” of the risk of brain injury to players as early as the 1980s but failed to take steps to improve safety, the high court has heard.

Wales will “go toe to toe” with Poland in a bid to reach Euro 2024 after the 4-1 dismantling of Finland in the playoff semi-final. “We don’t care which team is outside,” roared manager Rob Page. “At home I think that is 20 out of 23 games unbeaten. We don’t care who comes to see us.”

Spain manager Luis de la Fuente reckons it’s down to his players to repair the image of the nation’s football through their performances on the pitch as the RFEF gets dragged through the mud again by a corruption investigation.

John O’Shea is still pinching himself as he prepares to take charge of Republic of Ireland in a 3-0 friendly defeat by Belgium. “It’s an incredible honour to be manager of your country,” he trilled. “To get the chance to represent Ireland from U-15 onwards and all the levels, captain your country … it’s amazing!”

Liverpool’s Harvey Elliott has made a late dash for the Euro 2024 departure lounge, scoring twice for England’s U21s in the 5-1 victory over Azerbaijan to take his tally to seven goals in six qualification matches.

One to cut-out-and-keep: England have won a penalty shootout against … wait for it … Germany! Yes, goalkeeper Finlay Herrick was the hero in the U18s Super Cup victory in Spain.

And it’s not only in England where messing with the national team kit is causing a kerfuffle. Germany’s famous three stripes will disappear in a switch from Adidas to Nike in 2027 – and politicians are naturally taking it well. “It’s a wrong decision where commerce destroys a tradition and a piece of home,” sniffed health minister Robert Habeck. “[I would] have liked a bit more local patriotism.”

More England v Brazil prep: Vinícius Júnior remains one of the enduring puzzles of a mercurial Brazil, reckons Jonathan Liew. David Hytner looks at Harry Maguire and how his life in the Manchester United pressure cooker relates to international duty. And here’s Jacob Steinberg on the quandaries Gareth Southgate has to wrap his little head around before Euro 2024.

But never mind all that. Paul MacInnes previews the big one: the Virgin derby.

“At the end of the game I’d run on the pitch … and try and get Ronnie Moore’s tie-ups, or Dickie Johnson’s or Stevie Coppell’s, and then scarper up Woodchurch Lane and down Woodchurch Road to try and make sure I got home in one piece. Sometimes if there was a bit of a scuffle, my mum would go: ‘You’re not going to football any more.’ But I’d always go down on a Friday night, because it was my team.” Nigel Adkins gets his chat on with Ben Fisher about how he has happily progressed from Tranmere casual, to player and now his beloved club’s manager.

Hashtag United introduced a women’s side in 2020. Four years on, they’re preparing to take on Newcastle in the National League Cup final. Simon Burnton delves in.

It’s all a bit tetchy in MLS, after a string of clunkers made by the replacement refs airlifted in to paper over the league’s ugly industrial dispute. Graham Ruthven is unimpressed. And here’s Joseph Lowery with the latest power rankings … featuring an important Big Phil Neville-In-Portland update.

And fancy a quiz? Here you go then.

16 November 1989: We’ve had a delve and, no, we still can’t work out why Notts County’s fresh-faced Tommy Johnson is posing with a cabbage in a greengrocers. Check out the bargain price on those onions behind him, too!