Located in the central lowlands of Scotland on the north bank of the Firth of Tay, just a few skims of a stone from the perishingly cold north sea, Dundee is often subject to inclement weather. On average it rains there 125 days a year and in recent weeks some of the heavier deluges have stymied Dundee’s attempts to host their Scottish Premiership match against Rangers. Last month’s game was kiboshed because the Dens Park pitch was rendered unplayable after a downpour and the game was rescheduled for Wednesday night. Due to be broadcast live on Sky and with 4,000 Rangers fans preparing to make the 80-mile trip from Glasgow, it once again fell foul of the weather, with referee Don Robertson deeming the pitch unplayable following his second inspection of the day. It is rare that one man’s solemn and often futile attempts to bounce a football in various parts of a quagmire have been subject to so much public scrutiny, but such was the air of gravitas lent to Robertson’s inspection they were afforded the liveblog treatment from the Daily Record’s digital news wing and subsequently prompted a furious reaction from Rangers.

Having hoped to beat Dundee and go two points clear of Celtic at the top of the table, the club instead felt forced to issue a short statement brimming with righteous indignation that went straight in two-footed on Dundee and did not let up in its furious pomposity at any point during its 230 words. “The negligence and unprofessionalism demonstrated by Dundee Football Club, where they have repeatedly breached SPFL rules, continues to have a damaging effect on the top professional league in the country,” thundered the missive from a club that has long been a byword for probity when it comes to following rules and regulations. “In a week where record TV viewing figures were recorded for a match in the same competition, and this evening’s game due to be televised again by Sky Sports, this episode is deeply embarrassing and has also been eminently avoidable.”

The heavy-handed statement subsequently called on the SPFL to sanction presumably one or all of Dundee, the fixture computer and the Met Office – with the full force of the law and claimed their own proposed solutions to the thorny issue of when this game might get played had been ignored. And while it did not reveal the details of those proposed solutions, at no point did the Rangers statement make mention of the fact that Philippe Clement’s title challengers had previously been given the option of playing Dundee last Wednesday but chose not to, all the better to prepare for their entertaining 3-3 draw with Celtic at Ibrox. While Football Daily can understand Rangers’ frustration at having the same game postponed twice, you pays your money and you takes your choice, as the hoary old saw goes.

Of course Dundee are far from blameless in all this, what with this being the fifth game on their bog of a pitch to be postponed this season. Conceding it needed “urgent work”, their secretary Eric Drysdale blamed the increased rainfall brought about by climate change for the problems being endured. It is an excuse that might hold more water [Top punning! – Football Daily Ed.] if the sward in neighbouring Dundee United’s home of Tannadice was not currently in perfect nick. For any readers unfamiliar with the precise locations of both stadiums, with a fair wind an in-his-pomp Rory Delap could have probably thrown a football out of one and into the other. Sadly, the nearest Stoke’s human trebuchet got to Dundee was Carlisle United, so Football Daily can only speculate. Anyway, we digress. As things stand Dundee’s eagerly anticipated game against Rangers will now be played with added needle and is due to be postponed again next Wednesday night, weather – or the lack of it – permitting.

Join Michael Butler at 8pm BST for Big Vase updates on Liverpool 2-0 Atalanta, while Will Unwin will be on hand at the same time for Leverkusen 2-0 West Ham.

“I’ve been playing five-a-side on Monday nights, but it’s a little bit of a step up marking Usain Bolt … I’ll need to work on that high line. I’m looking to present myself as a no-nonsense centre-back, win my aerial battles and if I get in trouble just kick it out. I might wear a Forest under-shirt to keep the passion up” – retired England cricketer Stuart Broad tries to get his head around keeping the world’s fastest-ever man quiet when he plays the role of Harry Maguire for England’s Soccer Aid side.

The chief suits have convened around the boardroom table and made a riveting announcement, yes, the news we’ve all been so desperately waiting for, Christmas come early: the Premier League will use semi-automated offside technology next season. Hmm, weird that you’re not jumping with joy. Allow us, the highly technologically literate to explain. VAR teams will no longer have to get their big ruler out to draw offside lines, with tracking software used instead to speed up decisions. Graphics will be shown in stadiums to appease match-going fans and, according to the Premier League, the new tech will provide “consistent placement of the virtual offside line”. Successfully used at the 2022 Qatar World Cup, this will surely put an end to the abuse of officials, the hostility towards VAR and, ultimately, boost the health of the nation … right?

Re: Gerald Cains’ Saturday Taxpayers (Wednesday’s Memory Lane –full email edition). Presumably the crowd were off to see West Ham?” – Mike Rice.

Is Football Daily finally showing that it actually knows a bit about football with its bold predictions for the quarter-finals of Big Cup? Got three out of four results correct and picked two out of four exact scores. I need to sit down for a minute” – Rod de Lisle (and no other flabbergasted readers).

With respect to your editorial comment on Mark Ward’s letter where he mentions 1,056 pendants, one less than the long-established 1,057 pedants, may I suggest that he’s considered that Ricks Carson has probably left?” – Todd Van Allen.

Send letters to [email protected]. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’ the day is … Mike Rice.

The FA’s admin department has been busy: Wolves manager Gary O’Neil has been charged for calling the refereeing “scandalous” in their 2-1 defeat by West Ham and Vincent Kompany has been slapped with a two-game touchline ban (one of which is suspended) and a £10,000 fine over his protests in Burnley’s 2-2 draw at Chelsea.

On another breathless night of mindless kamikaze defending high-end elite European action in the Big Cup quarter-final first legs, Barcelona came from behind to nick a 3-2 win at PSG, while Atlético gave Borussia Dortmund a glimmer of hope by conceding late in a 2-1 win at the Metropolitano.

Meanwhile in the suffocatingly tight Championship title race that suddenly no one wants to win, Ipswich drew a blank again in a draw with Watford, while at the other end of the table Blackburn’s woes worsened with a 5-0 seeing-to at Bristol City.

The situation regarding Everton’s prospective takeover by 777 Partners remains as clear as mud after the investment company asked for yet more time to complete the deal, throwing more doubt on the club’s immediate future.

The BBC and Sky Sports have extended their deals to screen live WSL games for a further season. The initial three-year deal began in 2021. Sky will show up to 44 live matches next term, while the Beeb has the option to show up to 22.

Xabi Alonso has got Premier League managerial gossips all a-flutter with the flirtatious suggestion that he might one day manage in the English top flight. “You never know,” he teased, before adding: “At the moment I have enough on my plate to think about.”

In more Big Chelsea Project news, the club still aren’t ruling out a stadium move despite completing a deal to buy up land next to their Stamford Bridge home. “We are delighted to increase our footprint at Stamford Bridge and take a significant step towards ensuring the long-term financial sustainability of the club,” blah-ed chief operating suit Jason Gannon, but no details of a redeveloped ground have yet been revealed.

And Corinthians are to host an NFL game at their São Paulo home stadium between Green Bay Packers and Philadelphia Eagles. Only snag is green – the colours of both sides – is informally banned in the ground, due to its association with Corinthians’ bitter rivals Palmeiras.

From Kane to Koundé, John Brewin picks out his Big Cup team o’ the week.

Arsenal’s title credentials rest on the solid defensive foundation provided by the likes of Steve Bould, Tony Adams and Martin Keown William Saliba, Ben White and Gabriel Magalhães, writes Karen Carney.

Jacob Steinberg assesses a knack-addled West Ham’s uphill task in Big Vase at Bayer Leverkusen.

Teams in the Indian Super League are increasingly being “strategically partnered” by European clubs. John Duerde explains what clubs hope to gain from it.

And Dominic Calvert-Lewin has finally done some goals! Now Everton need him to kick on, says Ben McAleer.

While we’re on the subject of Everton strikers, here’s Dixie Dean scoring against Bolton at Goodison Park back in the 1930s. Lovely technique there. Should always get over the ball.