Rabbi Sharon Brous, a co-founder and lead rabbi of the IKAR Jewish congregation in Los Angeles, has some ideas for people who are feeling disconnected, isolated, and polarized: Be brave with your pain.
Brous, author of the bestselling book, “The Amen Effect: Ancient Wisdom to Heal Our Hearts and Mend Our Broken World,” shared her thoughts, as part of the University of St. Thomas’ Finding Forward speaker series.
In a conversation with St. Thomas president Rob Vischer, Brous recounted her journey from a secular childhood to reclaiming her Jewish faith and eventually becoming a rabbi.
“I started to think about, what is the pastoral responsibility when people are really hurting, when their hearts are broken?” Brous said.
Advice on Engagement 2,000 Years in the Making
Brous found one part of the answer in seminary when reading a text about an ancient Jewish ritual at the Temple Mount, where pilgrims would circumnavigate a courtyard, all in the same direction. Those who were feeling brokenhearted or ostracized, however, would walk against the flow.
When encountering the brokenhearted or ostracized, the pilgrims would listen to their stories – and then bless them.
Escaping the Trap of Solutions
Applying this model of encounter and judgement-free empathy, Brous believes, is a way to treat the “other” like a human and perhaps open a door for both parties to understand and engage with each other, stop trying to hurt each other, and move forward.
But more importantly, it helps make a practice of empathy even when a person can’t change what another is facing, she said.
“Unless you are like a heart surgeon or a car mechanic, your job is not to fix it. Your job is just to be present,” Brous said.
Empathy and Caring as Empowerment
Brous does not believe empathy for and understanding people with whom she disagrees is a contradiction of her values.
“One of the ways that we can remember that we're not (powerless) is by taking care of each other,” she said. “This idea of turning towards each other not only reignites our spiritual world, but also, I think, could save our society.”
