Fans miss out on the quintessential Scotland tournament experience

As humans, our brains are hardwired to tell us stories about our lives – with us as the matinee idol main character, of course – such that there’s an entire academic subject and therapeutic industry devoted to unpicking them. And this intensifies for those of us who are football fans, our teams – by amazing coincidence – crystallising aspects of our personal character and our countries crystallising aspects of our national character.

In that context, there’ll have been many who saw the tousing Scotland took from Germany and thought it in perfect keeping with the above, lots of bluster followed by lots of embarrassment. Many, though, are unaware that the quintessential Scottish tournament experience tends to feature creditable efforts against the better sides – your Brazils and your Netherlands – undermined by execrable efforts against the worse ones – your Irans and your Costa Ricas. Consequently, though it was surprising that when chasing a winner against Switzerland, Scotland didn’t score once before contriving to concede twice, Steve Clarke fist-pumping at full-time was a plot-point in perfect harmony with the overarching thematic, all the more so given almost-eliminated Hungary await them in their must-win final group game.

Nor was Clarke the only one. Post-match, Andrew Robertson was eager to don his dead serious face and perform an exhibition of tub-thumping. “Much more like us,” he intoned; “aggressive, on the front foot,” he continued, praising an opening spell in which his side were handed a 1-0 headstart by a deflected goal. Naturally he also had words of praise for Tony Ralston who, after giving away the equaliser, gallantly refrained from doing further damage thereafter. Robertson then extolled, in dead seriousness, “two really good teams” ranked 19th and 39th in the world, and anticipated further improvement on Sunday against a third, Hungary, who are ranked 27th.

England’s embarrassments tend to come later in the tournament, and the likelihood is they’ll progress from their group whatever happens in today’s match. That too is in keeping with their national story – one of colossal expectation, monumental entitlement and meagre success. As such, though, they will expect to beat Denmark, a country that neither deifies football nor imbues with monomaniacal sociopathy, focusing instead on irrelevances like equality, community, safety, honesty, happiness, kindness, trust, social justice, a healthy national health service, free higher education, low crime-rates, properly subsidised childcare, generous pensions and free care helpers for the elderly; or, put another way, their dedication to the rare but sacred art of not being a complete and utter … England. The quid pro quo here is that they’ve won just as many major tournaments as have England. Which is to say that nothing is fixed: our stories and characters can be created afresh every day, even in football. But only if we want them to be.

Join Daniel Harris at 2pm BST for red-hot updates on Slovenia 0-1 Serbia, while Barry Glendenning will be on hand for Denmark 1-1 England at 5pm and Scott Murray will be here at 8pm for Spain 3-1 Italy.

Serbia have called on Uefa to punish Croatia and Albania after accusing their fans of hateful chanting during Wednesday’s game in Hamburg – and have even threatened to withdraw from the tournament if no action is taken. Jovan Surbatovic, the Serbian FA’s general secretary, said a formal complaint had been submitted, claiming that Croatia and Albania fans chanted “Kill, kill, kill the Serb” during the 2-2 draw. “What happened is scandalous and we will ask Uefa for sanctions, even if it means not continuing the competition,” Surbatovic said. “If Uefa doesn’t punish them, we will think about how to proceed.” Serbia play their second Group C game against Slovenia in Munich this afternoon.

Scotland vs Switzerland. What a terrible terrible game it was. How can two teams play so bad? No idea going forward. Pelé, immortal words: Football is the beautiful game … You must be joking” – Ossie Ardiles tweets his verdict on events in Cologne.

Re: yesterday’s News, Bits and Bobs, full email edition. Pickle juice for England players, eh? Perhaps time to call up Dean Gerken” – Andy Korman.

Maybe just Wispa it but I wonder if that Cadbury’s Jude Bellingham shirt (yesterday’s News, Bits and Bobs, full email edition) will give England a Boost? Jordan Pickford will need to make sure he gets his Fingers to everything Denmark throw at us. It won’t be a Picnic in the park. Hopefully everything comes up smelling of Roses and they get to ride a Double Decker to Trafalgar Square as Heroes. OK, I need a Time Out after all that” – Antony Train [you and us both – Euro 2024 Daily letters Ed].

Could I suggest their next project might be constructing a series of giant chocolate teapots? There are so many potential recipients in football who richly deserve one – perhaps they can start with the Premier League, for services to Financial Fair Play and VAR?” – Steve Malone.

The Scotland-Switzerland match was illuminated by one moment of brilliance. No, not Shaqiri’s goal – it was the ball smacking a Swiss fan right in the kisser. Kudos to the nearby Scot who didn’t even blink” – Mark McFadden.

Send letters to [email protected]. Today’s letter o’ the day winner is … Andy Korman, who wins a copy of Euro 84: The Greatest Tournament You Never Saw, by Pitch Publishing. Visit their bookshop here. Terms and conditions for our competitions can be viewed here.

Big Website is offering Euro 2024 Daily readers a special discounted rate for our all-access digital subscription which, we’re told by the higher-ups, is the top level of support and gives you unlimited access to the app and ad-free reading. Get in! So click here to get 50% off the usual price for the first three months [and to see thefull terms and conditions]. What are you waiting for? Become a Big Website ultra now!

Albania winger Jasir Asani has made a big impression in Germany – not least for his choice of footwear. Asani, who provided the cross for Qazim Laci’s header against Croatia, has worn Super Mario Bros-themed turquoise boots at the Euros, with Mario on the left and Luigi on the right. The 29-year-old has only played once for the Korean side Gwangju FC this season; perhaps the boots are an effort to turn heads in Italy, and get the chance to join a number of his teammates in Serie A.

A number of Black British football pioneers, including Brendon Batson and Viv Anderson, have called on Euro 2028 organisers to celebrate the contribution of Black footballers to the game. In a letter published in the Guardian they say that the tournament in the UK and Ireland “is a chance to commemorate the Black players who paved the way for today’s stars”.

Gareth Southgate has defended Phil Foden and told his players to ignore criticism after the patchy 1-0 win over Serbia. “It’s very rare at their club they’d win a game and experience what they’ve experienced over the last couple of days,” sighed the England manager.

Kyle Walker’s been riffing on a similar theme. “If you were to write good things or bad things about me … if I don’t read it, I don’t react and don’t change my opinion on what I’m going to approach a game like,” sniffed the England right-back.

In advice that apparently needs to be spelled out, England fans have been told by police not to jump in Frankfurt’s River Main. In other news, the UK’s policing unit has said “the vast majority” of travelling England fans in Germany have “behaved extremely well”.

Another entertaining day of hot Euros action yesterday included a last-gasp leveller for Albania in a fun 2-2 draw with Croatia, and Germany making it two wins from two against Hungary and booking their last-16 spot.

And in it’s-coming-home-fever news, a pub in Chelmsford has been renamed the Jarrod Bow Inn for the Euros after winning a poll ahead of the (admittedly uninspired) Three Lions Inn and VAR Bar.

Barney Ronay hails what Billy Gilmour brought to the party for Scotland against Switzerland.

Jonathan Wilson runs the rule over the state of Denmark, and their struggles since reaching the semis of the Euros in 2021.

Sid Lowe on Álvaro Morata and tonight’s big clash between Spain and Italy.

Second-choice Steve? Leicester have confirmed the appointment of Steve Cooper as their new manager on a three-year deal, having failed to land Graham Potter. “We are delighted to welcome Steve. His vision for the team is very much aligned with our aspirations,” whooped Foxes chairman Aiyawatt Srivaddhanaprabha.

Son Heung-min says Rodrigo Bentancur has apologised for making a racist joke about him during a TV interview in Uruguay, saying his Tottenham teammate had “made a mistake”. Son said: “I’ve spoken with Lolo [Bentancur]. He has apologised.”

Arne Slot has pledged to build on Jürgen Klopp’s legacy in his first interview since taking the Liverpool manager’s job. “The way they played last season was already impressive, so we are going to build from there,” he tooted.

Sir Jim Ratcliffe says he understands Manchester City’s legal challenge over associated party transaction rules, and fears “over-regulation” could spell trouble for the Premier League. “We have got the best league in the world, don’t ruin it for heaven’s sake,” pleaded the Manchester United minority owner.

Women’s Super League clubs saw their income soar by 50% last season but losses rose too. WSL clubs’ aggregate revenue went up to £48m but their combined pre-tax losses shot up from £14m to £21m.

And Women’s Championship side London City Lionesses are hoping to pull off a major coup by bringing in the current Paris Saint-Germain manager, Jocelyn Prêcheur.

Netherlands fans bringing some very orange vibes to Euro 1992 in Sweden. The defending champions topped their group but lost on penalties to eventual winners Denmark in the semi-finals.