1. Epstein NYC Mansion Sells at Huge Discount to Mystery Buyer

  DARK PAST 

It’s the first time one of Epstein’s homes has been sold since his jail cell death in August 2019.

2. Most Americans Had Unwanted Weight Changes in 2020: Study

 IT’S NOT JUST YOU 

Forty-one percent reported gaining 30 pounds during stress of pandemic, with 52% of parents of early-elementary-age kids admitting “drinking more than usual.

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3. I Might Just Eat Off My Hardwood Floors Thanks to This

 SPIN CYCLE 

It’s about time you upgraded your mop to one that can actually get the job done.

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4. Ex-Presidents, With One Obvious Exception, Release Vax Ads

 WHERE’S DONALD? 

The first ad shows the ex-presidents getting their shots, while the second features Clinton, Bush, and Obama standing together to deliver their message.

5. Gambler Faces Jail for DMing Threats to Tampa Bay Rays Stars

 KNOW WHEN TO WALK AWAY 

Benjamin Tucker Patz allegedly sent horrifying Instagram DMs to four Rays players right after the team lost to the Chicago White Sox.

6. I Can’t Stop Spraying Dawn’s Powerwash Dish Spray

 TIME SAVER 

Spray, scrub, rinse, done. That’s it.

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7. Georgetown Law Prof Complains About Black Students on Zoom

 ‘REPREHENSIBLE’ 

The university vowed to respond with “the utmost seriousness” to the “abhorrent” comments captured for the whole world to see in a recorded Zoom chat.

8. Millionaire’s Son Faces Manslaughter Charge Over Fatal Crash

 OUT OF CONTROL 

Police say Monique Munoz, 32, was killed almost instantly last month when a Lamborghini being driven at high-speed slammed into her vehicle.

9. Trump Puts Out Sad Statement Pleading for Credit on COVID

 MISS ME? 

“I hope everyone remembers!” the former president wrote of his administration's efforts to support the development of the coronavirus vaccine.

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10. Tape Emerges of Trump’s Shady Call to GA Elections Official

 ‘you’ll be praised’ 

During a phone call to elections investigator Frances Watson, the former president made nonsensical allegations of “unbelievable” fraud.

11. Cuomo Aide Accuses Governor of Groping Her, Source Says

 MOUNTING ALLEGATIONS 

The governor called the allegation “gut-wrenching” and said, “I have never done anything like this.”

12. Capitol Rioter Served as Crew Chief in Marine One Squadron

 GROUNDED 

John Daniel Andries joined Marine Helicopter Squadron 1 in 2006, and had a top-secret security clearance, officials say.

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13. Whistleblowers Allege Shady Hiring at Trump DOJ

 POLITICIZED 

Two whistleblowers allege an acting assistant attorney general chose a candidate who had defended a Trump policy over a more qualified one.

14. Idaho Parents Plan ‘A Little Party Never Killed Nobody’ Prom

 DANSE MACABRE 

Melba Junior-Senior High School canceled its official prom because of the coronavirus pandemic.

15. Father Invites Cops Who Killed His 17-Year-Old to Funeral

 ‘DOING THEIR JOBS’ 

Farrah Rauch stole a car and crashed it before she died in a firefight with police. The local police chief plans to attend her memorial.

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