“Post-Honeymoon Adjustment to Real Life” - The name of a gift you can buy your newlywed friends on the Domino’s wedding registry. If you’re the cheesy type.

JEFF'S IN SESSION

THE STORY

Last night, the Senate confirmed Sen. Jeff Sessions (R-AL) to be attorney general aka America’s lawyer.

WHO IS HE AGAIN?

A longtime Alabama senator and former Alabama AG. He was one of President Trump’s earliest supporters and became one of his advisors on the campaign trail. He’s known for being tough on immigration and has said he’ll make fighting terrorism a priority. As AG, he’ll be in charge of the Justice Department. Meaning he’ll be responsible for defending Trump’s immigration ban and investigating things like police misconduct.

WHAT DO CRITICS SAY?

That he has a questionable record on civil rights. Back in the 80s, the Senate denied him a job as a federal judge after accusations that he’d made racist comments. Earlier this week, Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-MA) took to the Senate floor and read part of a letter Coretta Scott King wrote accusing Sessions of suppressing black voters. The Senate GOP voted to force her to stop speaking because she was using her time to criticize a fellow senator. Cue outrage from a lot of Dem lawmakers.

WHAT DO SUPPORTERS SAY?

That he’s a “man of honor” who’s very qualified to defend US laws. And that it’s unfair to keep bringing up decades-old accusations. Sessions himself also vowed during his confirmation hearing that he wouldn’t be a “rubber stamp” for everything Trump wants to do.

theSKIMM

Congress always gets along famously. On opposite day. But recent cabinet confirmations have made the relationship between Dems and the GOP even more contentious than usual, and exposed a political showdown that’s showing no signs of stopping. Rock, meet Capitol Hill place.

REPEAT AFTER ME...

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOUR CO-WORKER’S BUYING STOCKS THAT HER BANKER FRIEND RECOMMENDED...

That sounds shady. Yesterday, Alexei Navalny — a Russian politician who’s running for president – was found guilty of embezzling from a timber company. Navalny was seen as one of the only candidates who could’ve challenged Russian President Putin (who’s expected to run for re-election) in next year’s race. Nyet an option anymore, since Russian law says convicted criminals can’t run for office. To which a lot of people are saying ‘sounds a liiiitle too convenient for Putin.’ This ruling comes a few years after a judge already found Navalny guilty in the same case. But the European Court of Human Rights stepped in and said ‘nope, not a fair trial.’ So he was let off the hook. But then Russia’s Supreme Court ordered a retrial. And now he’s been found guilty again. Navalny says he’ll appeal and isn’t giving up his campaign. Paging “House of Cards” Season 5.

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOUR FRIEND CALLS YOU OUT IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE TABLE...

Burn. Yesterday, President Trump’s pick to fill the empty Supreme Court seat, Judge Neil Gorsuch, called out Trump for making “disheartening” and “demoralizing” comments about the judiciary. Reminder: a hearing to decide whether to restore Trump’s immigration order is now playing out in court. Trump’s called the hearing “disgraceful” and gave a federal judge a cute nickname: “so-called judge.” Now Gorsuch is telling Trump how he really feels. Not-so-good for their relationship, maybe good for Gorsuch getting support from moderate lawmakers. Meanwhile, Mr. President’s not the only Trump with relationship drama. In recent days, Ivanka Trump’s fashion line has been dropped by some retailers, including Nordstrom. Nordstrom says it’s because of meh sales. President Trump says his daughter’s being treated “so unfairly.” Making some people say ‘helloo, conflict of interest.‘

WHAT TO SAY TO YOUR SISTER IN COLLEGE…

Hear about Baylor? Yesterday, the Big 12 college sports conference said it’s going to hold back millions of dollars it owes Baylor University. That’s because in recent years, Baylor’s faced multiple allegations of sexual assault connected to its football players. Including a lawsuit filed last month that alleges dozens of football players committed more than 50 “acts of rape.” Baylor’s been criticized for failing to properly handle those cases and has been trying to change the way it addresses sexual assault. There’s also an independent review looking into whether the university’s changes will go far enough. Colleges get paid a portion of their conferences’ revenue (from things like TV deals), and now the Big 12 wants to make sure Baylor has its act together before it gets any more cash money.

WHAT TO SAY TO YOUR LACTOSE INTOLERANT FRIEND WHO KEEPS EATING CHEESE...

That’s one way to cause a flare up. Again.

THING TO KNOW

Easy D: Yesterday, President Trump used this phrase in a tweet defending his immigration ban. Some say it means ‘easy decision.’ Others say the D is hard.

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SKIMM LIFE

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