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Skimm'd while getting dirty

"We're about to have a baby, we're having a baby, we had a baby" - Seth Meyers on that time his wife gave birth in a lobby.

GOT MY SUIT AND TIE

The Story

Yesterday, Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg started his two-day apology tour in DC.

Back up.

This is about Cambridge Analytica - the political consulting firm that got access to the personal data of up to 87 million Facebook users. Then used that info to make targeted political ads...without users' permission. Now Congress wants answers.

What happened yesterday?

Zuckerberg faced hours of questioning. He said Facebook failed to protect users' privacy. And that the slow response to Russia's election interference is one of his "greatest regrets." Oh, and fyi the company is cooperating with special counsel Robert Mueller's investigation. He also said most users probably don't read the terms of service. And that he's open to "the right regulation." Unclear what exactly that means. Or if lawmakers actually know what Facebook is. But in the end, Facebook's stock gave his performance a thumbs up.

Anything else?

Yesterday, two senators introduced legislation that would require online platforms (cough, Facebook) to explicitly get consent from users to use, share, or sell any of their personal info.

theSkimm

Zuckerberg said Facebook will be investigating "tens of thousands of apps," meaning Cambridge Analytica could be the tip of the iceberg. If you haven't already, you can find out if Cambridge got ahold of your data. Happy Wednesday.

REPEAT AFTER ME...

What to say when the new co-worker shows up late on their first day...

Bold move. National security adviser John Bolton celebrated his second day on the job by pushing out homeland security adviser Tom Bossert. Bolton was expected to clean house, but this one came as a surprise. Bossert was a former lawyer for the Bush 43 administration. But focused on things like hurricane response, counterterrorism, and cybersecurity in the Trump admin. Add this to the list of vacancies. Meanwhile, we're learning more about the FBI raid on the office, home, and hotel room of Michael Cohen - President Trump's longtime Ray Donovan-slash-personal lawyer. Earlier this year, Cohen admitted to paying $130,000 to Stormy Daniels, the porn star who claims she had an affair with the prez. Turns out the FBI wanted to see the receipts. Plus those from another woman who was allegedly paid off. Plus whether the National Enquirer was involved. Trump's not happy. And is reportedly debating whether to fire the deputy attorney general for OK'ing the raid. All of this comes as Trump is weighing how to respond to a suspected chemical attack in Syria.

What people are talking about...

Myanmar. Yesterday, the military said seven soldiers were sentenced to prison for killing 10 Rohingya men. Rohingya: a Muslim minority group in Myanmar that has been discriminated against for years. Last summer, Rohingya insurgents attacked Myanmar security forces. Myanmar's military responded by systematically burning villages, and killing and raping thousands of people. In one of these attacks, 10 Rohingya men were killed. Two journalists investigating the killings were jailed because they allegedly "illegally acquired information" about it. The military claimed the Rohingya victims were part of a group that attacked Myanmar security forces. And later said that its soldiers didn't follow procedure and that they admitted to killing the men. This was the first time that Myanmar admitted to violence against Rohingya. Now, the military's punishing seven soldiers with a 10-year prison sentence with "hard labor."

What to say when you hear those Tristan Thompson rumors...

No one is safe. Including these ex-Theranos employees. A new report says that the blood-testing company laid off about 100 employees. Theranos used to be the next big thing in Silicon Valley until it very much wasn't. The company's founder Elizabeth Holmes recently settled fraud charges. Now, Theranos is reportedly trying to stay afloat by cutting basically its whole workforce. But good news for those ex-employees - grocery giant Kroger is hiring. It's adding 11,000 jobs in customer service and efficiency to play ball with Amazon and Whole Foods.

What to say when you hear TJ Miller is (still) an idiot...

On a brighter note, Janelle Monáe just dropped a new music video.

THING TO KNOW

ROI

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SKIMM LIFE

For when you're prepping for your friend's wedding...

Being a bridesmaid can be hard. But this wedding registry makes it easy to help the bride out. Tell her about it and she'll thank you. Cheers to being the favorite maiden.*

For when you get to the end of a book...

Don't worry. There's a sequel. We're closing out the first season of "Skimm'd from The Couch" with Joanna Coles - Chief Content Officer of Hearst Magazines. Fun facts: she never cries at work, she's made some bad hires, and she's not good at saying no. Listen here. Oh and don't worry...we'll be back in a month.

For when you freeze while ordering a drink at the bar...

Anything with a mini umbrella will do. If you're in Antigua, that is. We want to send you there for three nights at a luxury hotel. Plus, $500 towards Tory Sport, cash money towards your flight, and a brand new duffel. Go for it.

SKIMM SHARE

Skimm HQ just got a new sparkling water machine. Share theSkimm with your friend who needs their own.

SKIMM BIRTHDAYS

* indicates Skimm'bassador.Blow out the candles

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