| After Samantha Ervin’s home burned to the ground, she suddenly heard a well-intended but harmful phrase constantly. A pair of words, just seven letters altogether: “at least.”
As in, "at least no one was hurt” and “at least you get to buy all new things."
In “The Two Least Helpful Words in Crisis,” Ervin shares how these words made her feel—invalidated, guilty, materialistic—as she and her family grieved the loss of their home and belongings. Her story is honest and hopeful, pointing to the salient truth that comparing painful experiences or times of suffering doesn’t lead to true compassion or healing.
“One of the most amazing things I have discovered about God over the past few years is that he knows the pain of the entire universe and yet he does not trivialize mine,” Ervin writes.
Comfort does not arise from comparison, minimizing, or trivializing. Rather, comfort arises from acknowledgment. We do not need to fear that speaking honestly about our mourning will make things worse. We can, instead, trust that the One who knows all pain is also the God of all comfort. And he extends that comfort to us, and through us to others, as well.
P.S. Marriage & Family will soon become Coming Home: A place to talk about faith and family. We’re very excited to unveil this new format—which includes more content and increased opportunities for reader participation—in the coming weeks! |
