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1. Trump Trolls Colombian President by Suggesting He Made Him ‘Lose His Mind’
MASTER AND APPRENTICE
President Donald Trump has declared victory over his South American counterpart, and his fans reckon the MAGA boss has sent Gustavo Petro’s head into a spin.
POLITICS
2. Pope Francis Says Too Much Online Scrolling Causes ‘Brain Rot’
THE HOLY POST
The pontiff invoked a phrase that the Oxford Dictionary chose as its word of the year for 2024.
WORLD
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3. Duck DNA Detected in Engines of Crashed Passenger Plane
SEARCHING FOR ANSWERS
Investigators have not yet confirmed the cause of the disaster which was survived by just two of the 181 people on board.
4. Spectator Killed After Athlete’s Hammer Throw Hit Him
TRAGIC
A father in Colorado was hit by a heavy metal ball which went out of bounds.
U.S. NEWS
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STAY GROUNDED
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5. Baby Shark’s Birth in All-Female Tank Stuns Aquarium Staff
JAWS-DROPPING
They’re now working to unravel the mystery of how the swell shark—named Yoko—came into existence.
6. Thieves Blast Into Museum in Explosive Ancient Artifact Heist
WITH A BANG
The suspects made off with several gold treasures in the raid which left staff “intensely shocked.”
7. Putin Ally Lukashenko Brags After Being Re-Elected With 87% in Sham Vote
NOT 99%?
“Everyone has the right to choose,” Lukashenko said of his political opponents, who he said could go to prison or flee.
8. Musk’s Trump Endorsement Could Backfire as Tesla Sales Set to Stagnate
ELECTRIC SHOCK
President Trump’s anti-green policies could damage one of Musk’s most valuable businesses.
9. Colombian Prez Gives Trump a Taste of His Own Medicine in Long, Bizarre Rant
POPPING OFF
Gustavo Petro took to X to air his grievances amid a standoff with Donald Trump.
10. Here’s Who Will Face Off in Super Bowl LIX
REMATCH
Kansas City hopes to become the first team to win three back-to-back Super Bowls in a matchup against Philadelphia—a repeat of Super Bowl LVII.
11. Trump’s New Hollywood Pal Mel Gibson Wins This Week’s Box Office Battle
SOARIN’
Mel Gibson’s latest directorial effort earned its fair share at the box office—but it hasn’t captured critics’ hearts.
OBSESSED
12. Guv Issues Warning to Trump: I’m Ready to ‘Stand in the Way’
BRING IT ON
Illinois Governor J.B. Pritzker said he would do all he could to stop federal authorities trying to round up undocumented immigrants illegally.
13. How Miley Cyrus Dealt With Dad’s Nightmare Inauguration Performance
LEAVE ME OUT OF IT
The pop star’s brother, Trace, claimed their dad threatened legal action after he expressed concern over his performance at an inaugural ball.
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