1.  Trump Grand Jury Reportedly on Break for a Month

 REALLY? 

The move means any possible indictment against the twice-impeached former president wouldn’t come until some point in late April.

POLITICS

2.  FL Principal Resigns After Sending $100K to ‘Elon Musk’

  CHECKING OUT 

The school leader hoped the scammer would invest millions in the school in exchange for an upfront payment.

U.S. NEWS

How to Get RX Hair Loss Treatment Sans a Trip to the Doctor

  MANE ATTRACTION 

Happy Head allows you to speak to a dermatologist virtually, giving you extra-potent hair loss treatments shipped right to your door.

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3.  Pope Adviser Quits Over Concerns About Child Sex Abuse Panel

 YIKES 

Hans Zollner said he’s “grown increasingly concerned” with the Pontifical Commission for the Protection of Minors’ efforts to address sex abuse in the Catholic church.

WORLD

4.  Billionaire Heir Admits Involvement in Fatal ‘Sex Accident’

 STUNNING ADMISSION 

Farouk Abdulhak fled home on a private jet after Martine Vik Magnussen was found dead in his basement with “compression to the neck.”

WORLD

Spring Cleaning: This Top-Rated Water Flosser Is 40% Off

 TOP TIER CLEAN 

It’s gum-believable how good this deal is.

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5.  Heroic Principal Rushed ‘Straight for’ the Nashville Shooter

 ‘ASSASSINATED’ 

Katherine Koonce, a dedicated educator who “knew every single student by name,” died while attempting to confront the shooter, police believe.

U.S. NEWS

6.  Pope Francis Held in Hospital for Checks Ahead of Easter

 PRAYERS 

Pope Francis will stay in for additional checks after a scheduled appointment, and it’s not known if he’ll be out in time for Palm Sunday events.

WORLD

7.  Disney Axes Marvel Entertainment Chairman Amid Layoffs

 OUT 

The company is set to lay off 7,000 employees.

ENTERTAINMENT

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8.  Idaho GOP Tries to Make ‘Abortion Trafficking’ a Crime

 ‘SHAMEFUL’ 

The law would make it illegal for minors to cross state lines in pursuit of an abortion.

POLITICS

9.  Rosie Perez: Agent Wanted to Give Me Blonde Hair, Nose Job

  FIRED! 

“I can get you more jobs. Because you’re not Black,” the agent told her.

ENTERTAINMENT

10.  Renner Says He Was Awake for Entirety of Snow-Plow Disaster

 OUCH 

The Marvel actor has opened up about the accident that left him with eight broken ribs, several other broken bones, and a collapsed lung.

ENTERTAINMENT

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11.  81-Year-Old Ax-Murders Wife, Daughter After Losing Job: Cops

 GRUESOME 

Reginald Maclaren allegedly told police he was worried his family would become homeless.

U.S. NEWS

12.  DNA Leads to Kidnapping and Rape Suspect—28 Years Later

 NO LONGER COLD 

Evidence from the assault of a 19-year-old woman abducted near Brescia University was still on file.

U.S. NEWS

13.  Reparations Would Cost California $800B, Economists Estimate

 PAYBACK 

The money would go toward six-figure payouts for those impacted by housing discrimination and the “war on drugs.”

U.S. NEWS

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