1.  School District Keeps Changing Story on ‘Ruby Bridges’ Ban

 HMMM 

A district spokesperson claimed the whole thing was a big misunderstanding and the movie was actually never banned.

U.S. NEWS

2.  Bragg Tells House GOP to Back Off After Trump Indictment

  ‘UNPRECEDENTED AND ILLEGITIMATE’ 

Citing plenty of case law, Bragg’s general counsel warned that “Congress has no warrant for interfering with individual criminal investigations.”

POLITICS

This $24 Neck Light Is a Major Life Upgrade for Avid Readers

  NECK-LEVEL SOLUTION 

If reading paperbacks in the dark is your style, try this ergonomic neck light on for size.

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3.  Trump to Surrender to Manhattan Prosecutors on Tuesday

 NO HANDCUFFS 

His hearing will take place at 2:15 p.m., according to a court spokesperson.

POLITICS

4.  Michigan Rep. Announces He Has ‘Serious but Curable’ Cancer

 ‘I’M GOING TO BEAT CANCER’ 

Rep. Dan Kildee said in a Twitter thread that he will need surgery to remove a “very small tumor” on one of his tonsils.

POLITICS

Spring Cleaning: This Top-Rated Water Flosser Is 40% Off

 TOP TIER CLEAN 

It’s gum-believable how good this deal is.

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5.  WATCH: Dodgers Fan’s Mid-Game Proposal Does NOT Go to Plan

 OUCH 

The daring stunt, in front of a sold-out opening day crowd, has since gone viral.

ENTERTAINMENT

6.  ‘Rust’ Assistant Director Gets Probation for Fatal Shooting

 NO JAIL TIME 

David Halls pleaded no contest on Friday to a charge of negligent use of a deadly weapon.

ENTERTAINMENT

7.  14 Teachers Ditch School During Mass Shooter Threat: Report

 BUT...ARM THEM! 

“It seemed that no one was there, and I didn’t know what to do,” one Loveland High student said.

U.S. NEWS

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8.  Former ‘Bachelorette’ Contestant Arrested for Child Porn

 DISGUSTING 

Joshua Tylerbest, a contestant on the show’s 17th season, faces 15 counts of possession of child sexual abuse materials.

ENTERTAINMENT

9.  CDC Researchers Got Sick While Probing Ohio Train Derailment

  UH OH 

Seven CDC officials began to experience headaches, nausea, sore throat, and coughing while conducting a house-by-house survey of the town.

U.S. NEWS

10.  Lawyer Says There’s ‘Zero’ Chance Trump Will Take Plea Deal

 ‘NOT GONNA HAPPEN’ 

Joe Tacopina said Trump was “shocked” to learn of the criminal indictment against him.

U.S. NEWS

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11.  Russia Unveils New Policy to Address ‘Existential’ Threat

 COLD WAR 2.0 

The new doctrine calls the U.S. the “main source” of risk to Russian security.

WORLD

12.  Soros Pushes Back on Claims He’s Backing Trump Prosecutor

 ‘FAR-FETCHED’ 

The billionaire philanthropist issued a rare statement responding to the latest conspiracy theories tying him to something right-wingers don’t like.

POLITICS

13.  Andrew Tate Freed From Jail But Not Out of the Woods

 HOUSE ARREST 

The misogynist grifter was released Friday evening along with his brother and two associates, who will now spend at least the next 30 days under house arrest.

WORLD

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