1.  Rudy Giuiliani’s Old Donor Pals Think He’s Jumped the Shark

 ‘I MISS THE OLD RUDY’ 

Billionaires who donated to his 2008 presidential campaign say there’s no way they’ll be lending a hand as he faces legal and financial ruin.

POLITICS

2.  Proud Boys Leader Sobs as He Begs Judge for Lenient Sentence

  ‘INSTIGATOR’ 

The tears failed to move the judge though and Joe Biggs was ordered to serve 17 years for seditious conspiracy.

U.S. NEWS

Breaking: Allbirds Dropped Its Labor Day Sale Early

  SNEAKER SALE 

Take 50% off best-selling styles for men and women that never get discounted.

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3.  Elon Went Anti-Woke After His Kid’s Transition: Biographer

 ‘DON’T TELL MY DAD’ 

“She went beyond socialism to being a full communist and thinking anyone rich is evil,” Musk complained to his biographer, Walter Isaacson.

TECH

4.  50 Cent Accused of Battery After Chucking Mic at Fan

 OOPS 

Cardi B did it better.

ENTERTAINMENT

Marlow Pillow Is Having an End-of-Summer Sale

 PILLOW TALK 

Don’t sleep on this sale; Marlow Pillow is ending summer with their buy-more, save-more promotion.

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5.  Son of Ex-Packers Super Bowl Champ Dies After Asthma Attack

 ‘INCOMPREHENSIBLE’ 

Julius Poppinga, who played for his California high school football team, was hospitalized after having breathing issues, and reportedly later suffered a collapsed lung.

ENTERTAINMENT

6.  12-Year-Old Boy Tragically Dies After Collapsing in PE Class

 ‘SWELTERING HEAT’ 

“Despite the response and care of medical professionals, Yahshua tragically succumbed to cardiac arrest at the hospital.”

U.S. NEWS

7.  Judge Orders Man Who Shot Unarmed Black Teen to Stand Trial

 DAY IN COURT 

The attorney for 84-year-old Andrew Lester argued in court that his client’s age impeded his ability to tell if Ralph Yarl was a thief or not.

U.S. NEWS

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8.  Trump Wants to Ditch Co-Defendants Seeking Speedy Trial

 ON YOUR OWN 

The move comes a week after one of his co-defendants, Kenneth Chesebro, appeared to try and force Fulton County DA Fani Willis’ hand by demanding a lightning-fast trial date.

POLITICS

9.  Georgia Guv Rejects MAGA Calls for Trump DA’s Impeachment

  NOPE 

A far-right Georgia senator penned a letter to Kemp demanding a special legislative session to impeach Fani Willis.

POLITICS

10.  Kevin Costner Accuses Ex of ‘Relentless Jihad’ in Divorce

 ‘BASELESS CHARACTER ATTACKS’ 

The actor came out swinging against Christine Baumgartner’s request for over $175,000 a month in child support.

ENTERTAINMENT

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11.  Creative Director Flames Supreme on His Way Out the Door

 ‘SYSTEMIC RACIAL ISSUES’ 

“I wanted to work with supreme to change these things and instead I told I was racially charged, emotional, and using the wrong forum,” Tremaine Emory said.

ARTS AND CULTURE

12.  Uvalde Mayor Sues DA for ‘Cover-Up’ of School Shooting Probe

 SEEKING ANSWERS 

The mayor filed another suit back in December, alleging that McLaughlin wasn’t sharing evidence with Uvalde’s independent investigator.

U.S. NEWS

13.  Revered Conductor Cancels All 2023 Shows After Slapping Row

 INTERMISSION 

Sir John Eliot Gardiner was accused of attacking a soloist for exiting the stage on the wrong side.

ARTS AND CULTURE

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