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1. Putin’s Doomsday Jet Fails to Make a Victory Day Appearance

  NOT HERE 

The windowless Ilyushin Il-80 is reportedly capable of coordinating a nuclear war.

WORLD

2. NYT Scrambles to Pull Extremely Timely Wordle Solution Word

 ROE V. WORDLE? 

The Gray Lady’s puzzle team admits it tried to expunge the word in a bid to remain “distinct from the news.”

U.S. NEWS

Attacked by Bugs Every Summer? This Spray Can Help

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Ranger Ready is offering a two-pack with a Deet-free spray, so you can enjoy summer in peace.

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3. Election Staff Resort to Bulletproof Vests Ahead of Midterms

 IT’S COME TO THIS? 

The state has become a focus for election-deniers and Stop the Steal rallies

POLITICS

4. Putin Inner Circle ‘Now Fears He Could Use Nuclear Weapons’

 BUCKLE UP 

“Stories about him going bonkers are not a joke,” a top Bellingcat journalist told Ukraine TV, citing unnamed BFF oligarch.

WORLD

This Brightening Kit Replaced My Monthly Facial Appointments

 BRIGHTEN UP 

Tula’s two-piece brightening kit combats dullness, acne scars, enlarged pores, sagging skin, and fine lines without having to go to the derm.

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5. Cheaper Internet for Millions of Poor Americans Is Coming

 HOOKED UP 

Implementation of the Affordable Connectivity Program moves forward after dozens of providers sign up.

U.S. NEWS

6. Lin Wood Sours on Pal Mike Lindell: ‘I No Longer Follow Him’

 NO LOVE LOST 

As more 2020 election audits crumble, the pro-Trump lawyer is turning on his closest allies.

POLITICS

7. New Harry Skit for Travalyst Shows Him Pursued by Reviewers

 HUH? 

Promo encourages responsible tourism.

ARTS AND CULTURE

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8. Trump Dings ‘Weak’ Esper: ‘I Had to Run the Military Myself’

 ‘FAKE NEWS’ 

Asked whether it was true that he had suggested the U.S. attack Mexico’s “drug cartels with missiles,” the ex-president had an uncharacteristic answer.

POLITICS

9. Ncuti Gatwa Named the Next Doctor on ‘Doctor Who’

 ❤️❤️+🟦 

The breakout “Sex Education” star “seized hold of the Doctor and owned those TARDIS keys in seconds,” says showrunner Russell T. Davies.

ENTERTAINMENT

10. UN Agency Boss Quits After NYT Questions Office’s Bad Loans

 KAFKA-ESQUE 

The UN Office for Project Services gave at least $3 million to the 22-year-old daughter of a British businessman Grete Faremo met at a party.

WORLD

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11. Elon Musk Makes Light of Threats From Russia’s Space Chief

 SPACE ODDITIES 

“If If I die under mysterious circumstances, it’s been nice knowin ya,” he tweeted. Maye Musk told her son his quips were not funny.

U.S. NEWS

12. Clueless F1 Commentator Mistakes NBA Lotto Pick for Mahomes

 BRUNDLED AGAIN 

The hapless Martin Brundle somehow also managed to make interviews with Venus Williams and David Beckham painfully awkward.

ENTERTAINMENT

13. Watch U2’s Bono and the Edge Perform in Kyiv Subway Station

 ‘STAND BY UKRAINE’ 

The singer and guitarist invited Antytila—a Ukrainian pop-rock act currently serving on the front lines—to join them for part of the acoustic set.

ENTERTAINMENT

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