1.  Post-Presidency Protection for Trump Kids Cost $1.7M: WaPo

 HANGING ON 

Trump ordered extra protection for his family in the dying days of his presidency.

2.  Bolsonaro: You Can’t Make Me Get Vaxxed for New York Meeting

  STEER CLEAR 

The New York City Mayor’s office has made clear that everyone who wants to attend the UN General Assembly must show proof of vaccination.

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3.  Have a Hole in Your Window Screen? This Tape May Help

 CREAKY SCREEN 

This tape is just a roll of screen material that is easy to slap on to any screen in your home to make it as good as new.

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4.  Student Arrested After Stealing Fire Extinguisher for TikTok

 STAY IN SCHOOL, KID 

The app has begun banning videos that make mention of the “Devious Licks” challenge.

5.  Texan Tourists Attack NYC Hostess When Asked for Vax Cards

 ‘SHOCKING AND TRAGIC’ 

The attack happened outside Carmine’s Restaurant on the Upper West Side early Thursday evening.

6.  I Wish All of My T-Shirts Were as Good as This One

 PERFECT FIT 

Despite the price tag, this T-shirt is as if someone stuffed three tees into one.

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7.  ‘Justice for J6’ Rally Leader Once Lauded Far-Right Assassin

 YIKES 

Matt Braynard, who previously worked for former President Trump, called him “another great patriot who put bayonets through the enemies who threatened his nation.”

8.  Prince Philip’s Will Must Remain a Secret for 90 Years

 WHO GOT EDINBURGH?! 

In order to maintain “the dignity of the Sovereign,” the judge said.

9.  National Zoo Lions and Tigers Contract COVID-19

 OH MY! 

Officials have not been able to determine the source of the outbreak.

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10.  Facebook Knew Anti-Vax Comments Were ‘Huge Problem’

 ‘NEED TO FIX IT’ 

The anti-vaccine comments were seen by users 775 million times a day.

11.  World’s Biggest Tree Wrapped in Foil as Wildfire Rages On

  ANCIENT GIANT 

The Colony Fire is expected to reach California’s famous Giant Forest on Thursday.

12.  R. Kelly Staff: He Threatened Me Over Teen’s Harassment Suit

 CHOOSING SIDES 

“He said I needed to pick a team and generally in these kinds of situations people come up missing,” Cheryl Mack, who eventually became Kelly’s assistant, testified on Friday.

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13.  Court Tosses Rule Preventing Puberty Blockers for Kids

 OPITONS 

The case was brought by a woman who had taken the medication at 16 before halting transition medical care as an adult.

14.  Twin Sisters Charged With Helping Choke Own Brother to Death

 FAMILY TIES 

“He had to go,” a remorseless Leaundra Matthews allegedly told her mom and aunt after Christian Matthews was murdered at their Maryland home.

15.  San Fran Mayor London Breed Parties Maskless at Local Club

 BAD LOOK 

The city has had a mask mandate in place since early August, even for the fully vaccinated.

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