1.  ‘Pharma Bro’ Martin Shkreli Released Early From Prison

 HE’S BACK 

The infamous hedge funder promptly enjoyed a meal at Cracker Barrel on the way to his assigned halfway house.

U.S. NEWS

2.  Chris Wallace to Anchor New CNN Show After Streaming Debacle

  ROUND TWO 

Wallace had ditched Fox News for a weekday talk show on CNN’s doomed streaming service.

MEDIA

This Vitamin C Serum Is Better Than a Chemical Peel

  GLOW GETTER 

Tula’s insanely popular Triple Vitamin C Serum works like a dream and it’s 20 percent off right now.

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3.  Biden Disinfo Board on ‘Pause’ After Just Three Weeks

 OUROBOROS 

Disinformation expert Nina Jankowicz, who was appointed to head up the board, was specifically targeted by far-right agitators online.

POLITICS

4.  AG to Probe Social Media Platforms Used by Buffalo Shooter

 RED FLAGS 

New York Gov. Kathy Hochul also plans to file an executive order to strengthen New York’s red flag laws.

U.S. NEWS

Sorry, Peloton—This Under-the-Desk Bike Is a Life Changer

 EXERCISE, FOR LAZY PEOPLE 

This under-desk bike is easy to store, easy to ride, and easy to forget that I’m using it.

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5.  Knife-Edge PA GOP Senate Race May Come Down to Mail-In Votes

 FULL CIRCLE 

Trump-backed Mehmet Oz might well need to rely on mail-in ballots in the GOP primary for Senate in Pennsylvania.

POLITICS

6.  USWNT Finally Get Same Pay as Men in World First for Soccer

 GOAL! 

Historic agreement means men and women representing the United States on the pitch will get paid exactly the same.

ENTERTAINMENT

7.  First Russian Soldier Pleads Guilty to War Crimes in Ukraine

 SENSELESS SHOOTING 

A Russian soldier has become the first to plead guilty to war crimes in Ukraine after confessing to shooting an unarmed 62-year-old man who was just riding his bike.

WORLD

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8.  NY Sues Amazon for Discrimination Against Pregnant, Disabled

 PRIME LAWSUIT MATERIAL 

The state claims that Amazon denies “reasonable accommodations” for pregnant and disabled workers.

U.S. NEWS

9.  Nick Cannon, Prolific Baby Maker, Eyes Vasectomy

  EIGHT IS ENOUGH 

“I ain’t looking to populate the Earth completely.”

ENTERTAINMENT

10.  Woman ‘Defecated’ in Beauty Store, Ruining Wigs, Cops Say

 ‘POOPETRATOR’ 

The woman was accused of taking a squat “in the middle of the aisle.”

U.S. NEWS

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11.  TSwift Tells NYU Grads to ‘Learn to Live Alongside Cringe’

 DOCTOR OF POP 

The superstar received an honorary doctorate from New York University on Wednesday.

ENTERTAINMENT

12.  Former Minneapolis Cop Pleads Guilty in George Floyd’s Death

 SURRENDER 

State Attorney General Keith Ellison called it an “important step toward healing the wounds of the Floyd family, our community, and the nation.”

U.S. NEWS

13.  Trump Illegally Retaliated Against Yevgeny Vindman, DoD Says

 VIND-ICATED 

The brother of Army officer Alexander “was the subject of unfavorable personnel actions” for his complaint about the ex-president’s “perfect call” with Zelensky, per the Pentagon.

POLITICS

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