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1. New York Post Front Page Goes Full MAGA on Trump Conviction

  ‘INJUSTICE’ 

The tabloid described the historic trial as a “political hit job.”

MEDIA

2. Brangelina’s Daughter Shiloh Is Dropping Pitt From Her Name

 WHO’S YOUR DADDY? 

She petitioned a court to make it official—on her 18th birthday.

ENTERTAINMENT

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3. Son of Buc-ee’s Co-Founder Indicted in Secret Cam Scheme

 LONE STAR PERV 

The 28-year-old is alleged to have recorded at least 13 victims “using the toilet, showering, changing clothes, and/or having sex” in bathrooms over two years.

U.S. NEWS

4. Shares of Trump Media Tumble After His Hush Money Conviction

 LINE GOES DOWN 

The after-hours stock dip might have had something to do with the fact that the company’s largest shareholder had just been found guilty on 34 felony counts.

U.S. NEWS

Aesop’s New Balm Brings a ‘Touch of Poetry’ to Hand Care

 IN GOOD HANDS 

Aesop’s covetable hand balms are more than just a low-key status symbol—they’re the ultimate remedy for distressed hands.

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5. E. Jean Carroll’s Simple Yet Powerful Response to Verdict

 GIRL POWER 

The author has already won two defamation suits brought against the former president.

POLITICS

6. The New Yorker Reveals Cheeky Cover After Trump’s Conviction

 TEENSY-WEENSY 

Guess we’ll never know what cover they had prepped for an acquittal.

MEDIA

7. Biden Is All Business as His 2024 Opponent Becomes a Felon

 DARK BRANDON 

“In New York today, we saw no one is above the law,” Michael Taylor, the communications director for the Biden-Harris 2024 campaign, wrote in a statement.

POLITICS

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8. Trump Dubs Himself ‘Political Prisoner’ in Frantic $$$ Plea

 ‘I DID NOTHING WRONG!’ 

“YOUR SUPPORT IS THE ONLY THING STANDING BETWEEN US AND TOTAL TYRANNY!” he said.

POLITICS

9. Woman Who Berated Kylie Kelce in Viral Video Apologizes

 MEA CULPA 

“My anger, and my actions, are not who I am, and certainly not indicative of the welcoming community of Margate,” the woman wrote.

ENTERTAINMENT

10. Bad Bunny and Kendall Back Together After Months-Long Break

 UN VERANO... CONTIGO? 

The reggaeton star was recorded singing to the socialite at a concert in Orlando earlier this month, sparking rumors.

ENTERTAINMENT

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11. Lenny Kravitz Has Been Celibate for 9 Years

 IT’S A SPIRITUAL THING 

“If you’re a Guy and you can voluntarily go 9yrs without sex... You’re following the wrong page,” Ice-T weighed in on X.

ENTERTAINMENT

12. Biden Covertly Lets Ukraine Strike Inside Russia: Report

 COLD WARRIOR MENTALITY 

President Joe Biden has secretly given Ukraine the all-clear on using US weapons to conduct strikes within Russian territory near the Kharkiv Oblast.

WORLD

13. Embattled Sen. Menendez Will Appear on Ballot as Independent

 STILL KICKING 

The senator, who’s currently on trial for bribery and corruption, has secured the 800 signatures necessary to appear on the ballot as an independent.

POLITICS

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