1. MyPillow Guy Says He Was ‘Attacked,’ Police Report Filed

  ‘IT HURTS A LITTLE BIT’ 

Mike Lindell repeatedly claimed during the final day of his “cyber symposium” that he was physically attacked the night before at his hotel.

2. Taliban Seizes Second Biggest Afghan City as Thousands Flee

 LIKE DOMINOES 

Kandahar fell to the insurgent group as fears grow for the capital, Kabul.

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3. The Outdoors Is Calling. Answer It With Gear from This Sale

 GET OUTSIDE 

Backcountry has everything you could need to be outside and enjoy it, and it's all up to 50% off.

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4. Toddler Finds Gun, Shoots Mom in Head During Work Video Call

 ‘FATAL GUNSHOT’ 

Someone on the video call with the 21-year-old mother called 911 when they heard the gun go off.

5. First Live Murder Hornet of 2021 Seen in Washington State

 THEY’RE BA-ACK 

A dead murder hornet, which preys on honeybees, was found earlier this year near Seattle.

6. ‘The Better Mask’ Really Is Better Than Most I’ve Tried

 MASK IT UP 

The Better Mask blends the protection of something like an N95 (the masks medical professionals wear) with the comfort of a cotton mask.

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7. Dozens Test Positive After Cruise Disembarks From Texas

 SEA SICK 

The positive tests were returned just before a scheduled stop in Belize City.

8. COVID Kills 4 Teachers in One Day in FL School District

 CLASSROOM CALAMITY 

Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis has forbidden school districts from requiring students and teachers get vaccinated or wear masks to school.

9. BBC Journo Will Be Forced to Leave Russia After Visa Refusal

 GET OUT 

BBC’s Moscow correspondent Sarah Rainsford has one month to leave Russia in a move seen as retaliation for the U.K. denying Russian journalist visas.

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10. Phoenix Cops Got Rewards for Shooting Protesters’ Balls

 ‘GOOD NIGHT LEFT NUT’ 

Phoenix officers created a trophy in the form of a coin emblazoned with a protester being shot with a pepper ball in the testicles.

11. Boy, 13, Critically Injured by Bronx Beach Lightning Strike

 UNLUCKY STRIKE 

A 13-year-old boy is in critical condition after a bizarre bolt of lightning struck a group of people sitting on the sand at Orchard Beach.

12. Broadway Star Booted From Show Over Vaccine Refusal

 UNVAXXED, UNEMPLOYED 

The two-time Tony Award nominee reportedly proclaimed to her fellow performers that she didn’t trust the jab.

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13. SF to Require Proof of Full Vaccination for Gyms, Bars

 SAFETY FIRST 

Mayor London Breed wrote, “Vaccines are our way out of this pandemic. They're how we can live our lives together, safely.”

14. SNL’s Horatio Sanz Groomed, Assaulted 17-Year-Old Fan: Suit

 CHILLING 

Sanz’s attorney called the allegations “categorically false.”

15. John Rizzo, CIA Torture Lawyer, Dies at 73

 R.I.P. 

The attorney was one of the principal legal architects of the CIA’s most controversial programs over his 30-year career as a “company man.”

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