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1. MAGA Attack Ad Rips Into Ron DeSantis’ Gross Pudding Habits

  ‘GET THIS MAN A SPOON!’ 

“Ron DeSantis loves sticking his fingers where they don’t belong.”

POLITICS

2. Thomas’ Mom ‘Definitely’ Still Lives in Home Bought by Donor

 NO DOUBT 

An investigation found renovations were done on the property shortly after it was bought by the GOP megadonor.

POLITICS

This Weight-Loss App Does Much More Than Track Calories

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3. GOP Lawmaker Insists 12-Year-Olds Should Be Able to Marry

 YIKES 

It all stems from a row about his bill banning gender-affirming care for trans kids.

POLITICS

4. North Korea Says It Tested a Whole New Type of ICBM

 ‘UNEASINESS AND HORROR’ 

Experts fear the tech will allow Kim Jong Un to deploy nukes much faster.

WORLD

Ex-DOE Official Ordered to Pay Victim Over Luggage Theft

 CASE CLOSED 

Samuel Brinton pleaded no contest to the charge.

U.S. NEWS

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5. Charles Won’t Invite Sarah Ferguson to Coronation: Report

 ROYAL UNWELCOME 

Prince Andrew’s ex will have to watch the historic event on TV like the rest of us.

WORLD

6. Russian Cyber Unit Head Inundated With Sex Toys After Hack

 ‘HUMILIATION’ 

Ukrainians reportedly broke into into Sergey Morgachev’s accounts and started placing orders.

WORLD

7. GOP Donor Plowed Rolls-Royce Into $3M Sculpture: Reports

 WHAT? 

Elizabeth Raese allegedly then drove the car through a seawall and onto a beach.

U.S. NEWS

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8. Intel Leaks Show Russia’s Special Forces Decimated: Report

 WIPED OUT 

Satellite images allegedly illustrate the scale of the losses.

WORLD

9. Tibet Leader Blames China for Dalai Lama’s Creepy Tongue Vid

 ‘UNFAIRLY LABELED’ 

The 87-year-old’s actions were just part of his “grandfatherly affectionate demeanor,” Penpa Tsering said.

WORLD

10. Intel Leaks Show Russia’s Special Forces Decimated: Report

 WIPED OUT 

Satellite images allegedly illustrate the scale of the losses.

WORLD

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11. Cops Walk Into Home, Find Ex-Police Watchdog’s Dead Body

 ‘UNREAL LOSS’ 

Ann Arbor police said they were treating the death of Jude Walton as a homicide.

U.S. NEWS

12. Bob Lee’s Family Break Silence After Cops Nab Alleged Killer

 ‘JUSTICE’ 

The family posted a statement praising the San Francisco police department, while revealing their next steps.

U.S. NEWS

13. ‘Woke-Free’ Beer’s Business Model May Be Illegal: Experts

 WOMP WOMP 

Illinois state law wouldn’t allow Ultra Right Beer from shipping directly to consumers—if the enterprise isn’t a scam to begin with, as some beer industry insiders are speculating.

U.S. NEWS

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