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1. GOP Nominee to Run N.C. Schools Called for Biden Execution
VIOLENT FANTASIES
Michele Morrow, who called public schools “indoctrination centers” and “socialism centers,” is in contention for the responsibility of her state’s $11 billion school budget.
U.S. NEWS
2. Flight Attendant’s Blunder Likely Caused Plane Plunge: WSJ
WTF
The LATAM Boeing 787 went into a sudden dive that left about 50 people injured.
TRAVEL
How to Buy an E-Bike for a Fraction of the Retail Price
AD BY UPWAY
Upway ensures the “e” in “e-bike” doesn’t stand for “expensive.”
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3. Migrants Without Passports Must Allow Face Scan to Fly
SURPRISE!
The TSA quietly began enforcing the new rule.
4. Wannabe MAGA Senator Denies Link to Gay Hookup Site: Report
‘JUVENILE’
A former intern took credit in a statement for creating Bernie Moreno’s profile, saying he was “thoroughly embarrassed” by the “aborted prank” he had pulled.
POLITICS
Shoppers Say These Sleep Gummies Are ‘Better Than Ambien’
SLEEP WEEK
SugarBear vegan sleep gummies are made with natural herbs and minerals that some reviewers say are just as effective as a prescription medication. Plus, they’re delicious!
5. Man Fatally Impales Himself on Buddha Statue: Report
OUCH
The deceased allegedly attacked a monk with a fluorescent tube before his demise.
WORLD
6. Billionaire’s Son: LA Club Barred Me Over Hispanic Wife
‘RACIAL ARISTOCRACY’
Matthew Winnick, whose father Gary Winnick made a fortune in telecommunications, is suing Hillcrest Country Club after being denied membership.
7. Subpoena Means Gaetz May Face Questions on Sordid Past: ABC
THE SAGA CONTINUES
The deposition could force Gaetz to answer questions under oath about his alleged sexual activity with a 17-year-old girl.
8. Lyft, Uber to Leave Minneapolis After Minimum Wage Hike
SAYING SAYONARA
A new ordinance passed Thursday is set to take effect on May 1, requiring the companies to increase driver wages to meet the local minimum wage of $15 an hour.
9. Man Finds Human Toes ‘Sticking Out of the Ground’ in Yard
GARDEN PLOT
A woman helping the homeowner with yard work said she was “shook” by the gruesome discovery.
10. Indicted FBI Rat Paid by Texas Firm Tied to Trump: Report
MONEY HONEY
Economic Transformation Technologies shelled out $600,000 to Alexander Smirnov in 2020—the same year he allegedly began feeding federal agents lies about the Biden family.
11. Man Shot in Head With His Own Gun After Fight on NYC Subway
‘AGGRESSIVE’
A 36-year-old man allegedly immediately targeted another man who got on the subway car, approaching him in a “provocative” manner, authorities and witnesses said.
12. Daniel Craig Courts Qatari Money for New ‘Othello’ Movie
ALWAYS BE PITCHING
Meanwhile, the Gulf nation is interested in a relationship with the James Bond franchise, whose gatekeeper is attached to Craig’s new project.
ENTERTAINMENT
13. Pornhub Leaves Texas High and Dry as Users Are Blocked
BLUE BALLED
Users in Texas were greeted with a message calling the new law “ineffective, haphazard, and dangerous,” and were blocked from entering the site.
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