1.  Fugitive Team Hunts for Parents of Michigan School Shooter

 ON THE RUN 

Ethan Crumbley’s parents were supposed to turn themselves in, but weren’t responding to their lawyer on Friday.

2.  School Supt Pens Insane Rant Blaming Racism on Godless Dems

  WHOOPS 

“Time to move away from godless corrupt woke, left-wing ideology and back to the devout Christ centered Republic the founders envisioned,” he wrote.

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3.  Let Your Creativity Shine With These Customizable Gifts

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These one-of-a-kind gifts spread holiday cheer like no other.

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4.  Plumber Finds 1000s of Cash Bags Stuffed in Megachurch Wall

 FINDERS KEEPERS? 

The discovery came seven years after $600,000 worth of checks and cash were reported stolen from Joel Osteen’s church.

5.  ‘Callous’ Cop Fired for Ignoring Dying Teen’s Pleas for Help

 ‘LACK OF HUMANITY’ 

Dewayne Rodgers failed to give 18-year-old Jalonte Jones first aid, even as he lay bleeding on the ground for 10 minutes before his death.

6.  Dad Grass’ Pre-Rolls Are the Best Way to Enjoy CBD

 LIGHT IT UP 

These pre-rolled CBD joints have all the benefits you get from CBD, just in a different form.

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7.  Teen Charged After Rap on Shooting Up School ‘Like Oxford’

 NOT FUNNY 

“I’m not going to try to figure out whether this incident was intended to be a joke or whether it was a credible threat, the bottom line is that it’s a crime,” a prosecutor said.

8.  Man Imprisoned for Decades Gets $6M for Wrongful Conviction

 ‘JUST IMAGINE’ 

The jury found that former Durham police detective Darryl Dowdy faked evidence in the botched investigation that put Darryl Howard behind bars on double murder charges.

9.  Jeff Koons Accused of Copying Porn Actress’ Sculpture

 ‘MASSIVE INFRINGEMENT’ 

The aggrieved sculptor claims he only discovered Koons’ “massive,” decades-old copyright infringement in 2019.

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10.  100+ Michigan Schools Shut as Sick Shooting Threats Flood In

 ‘THEY THINK IT’S FUNNY’ 

At least 100 copycat threat posts have been recorded since the Tuesday shooting, officials said.

11.  Anti-Vaxxer Tries, Fails, to Dodge Shot by Wearing Fake Arm

  TRICK UP HIS SLEEVE 

An eagle-eyed health worker noticed something was amiss as soon as the man sat down.

12.  Hawaii Man Contracts Omicron Despite Not Leaving the State

 CONCERNING 

The new case suggests the super-mutated COVID variant has already been circulating widely in Hawaii.

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13.  Feds Probe Mount Vernon PD Over Excessive Force Claims

 DIGGING IN 

“The investigation will assess whether MVPD engages in a pattern or practice of discriminatory policing,” the feds said.

14.  DA Blames Waukesha Suspect’s Paltry Bail on Frazzled Asst

 DROPPED THE BALL 

The young assistant district attorney didn’t bother looking at Darrell Brooks’ pretrial risk assessment because she was swamped.

15.  100 Guests Attend Xmas Party—17 Leave With Supected Omicron

 FESTIVE FEVER 

Every party guest was vaccinated and they all took tests before they gathered for the party in Oslo.

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