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1. Dwyane Wade Statue Mocked for Looking Nothing Like Him

 ‘WHO’S THAT GUY?’ 

The Heat’s all-time leading scorer didn’t seem to mind.

2. Julia Roberts: Wives Can Keep Harris Vote Secret From Trumper Hubbies

 EAT, PRAY, VOTE 

The Pretty Woman star urges Christian women to vote with their own convictions.

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3. Rudy Giuliani Does His Own Howard Dean Scream at Trump’s MSG Rally

 AMERICA’S MAYOR 

In the speech, Giuliani called Donald Trump a “very charitable, very good man.”

4. Trump Campaign Scrambles to Disavow Racist MSG Rally Joke

 DUMPSTER FIRE 

The line about Puerto Rico is the only one Trump’s campaign is trying to distance itself from.

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5. DNC Trolls Trump With a Projector During His Madison Square Garden Rally

 ‘TRUMP PRAISED HITLER’ 

Slogans plastered on the exterior of Madison Square Garden as Trump spoke inside included “Trump praised Hitler.”

6. Dodgers Manager Gives Shohei Ohtani Injury Update

 BULLET DODGED 

Los Angeles is currently leading the Yankees 2-0 in the World Series.

7. Former Washington Post Editor: Trump Will ‘Pounce’ on Endorsement Flop

 ‘DISTURBINGLY SPINELESS’ 

“You don’t make these decisions eleven days before the election without any deliberation with the staff, with the draft editorial sitting on the table,” Marty Baron told the New Yorker.

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8. Tim Walz: ‘Pathetic’ Donald Trump ‘Hates This Country’

 ‘DESCENDING INTO MADNESS’ 

‘Donald Trump hates this country and everything he does is for Donald Trump,’ Walz said.

9. Joe Rogan Tells Trump That Harris May Still Go on Podcast

 STILL A CHANCE 

“I hope she does, because it would be a mess,” Trump said. “She’d be laying on the floor. Comatose. She’d be saying, ‘Call in the medics.’”

10. Washington Post Cartoon Shows Democracy in the Dark

 NO LAUGHING MATTER 

The title of Ann Telnaes' cartoon is the Post’s Trump-era slogan.

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11. ‘Totally My Bad’: Teen Girl Who Caused Fatal Tanker Crash

 ‘DON’T USE GOOD JUDGMENT’ 

“Oh, [expletive]. Yeah. Oh, my goodness. Yep, totally my bad. Wow. Holy [expletive],” said the 17-year-old girl upon being shown a video of the fatal crash by police.

12. Eric Adams Takes Aim at Trump Over ‘Hateful’ MSG Rally

 DEFLECT! DEFLECT! 

The NYC mayor’s criticism of racist rhetoric at the Republican campaign’s latest event comes as he gears up to battle criminal charges of bribery and fraud.

13. Hulk Hogan Spitting Gesture Prompts Speculation He Was Making Crass ‘Hawk Tuah’ Reference

 MAGA CARNIVAL 

Some media outlets suggested the retired wrestler was making a boorish oral sex joke.

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