1.  ‘Dumbest Concept’: QAnon Leader Swears New Project Is Legit

 MAX-LEVEL GRIFT 

Ron Watkins, an alleged leader of the fringe far-right movement, is selling five of his tweets as NFT. Followers are not enthused.

2.  Billionaire Raped Woman at Epstein Mansion, New Docs Allege

  BRUTAL 

Black’s spokesperson has dismissed the accusation as “complete fiction.”

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3.  This Skincare Routine Requires No Lotion, Serum, or Masks

 AD BY DROPLETTE 

All the skincare you need, right in the palm of your hand.

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4.  Anti-Mask GOP Candidate for Michigan Guv Banned From YouTube

 ‘TAKING A STAND’ 

After Garrett Soldano repeatedly broke the site’s rules.

5.  Gas Station Clerk Shot in Head After Asking Man to Mask Up

 SENSELESS 

The cashier declined to sell beer to a customer who refused to mask up. The man left and returned with a gun.

6.  The Luxury, Fair-Trade Towels That I Feel Good About Using

 WHAT GETS WETTER THE MORE IT DRIES? 

In addition to being soft and quick-drying, they are made with sustainable, 100% pure organic cotton terry and are produced in a fair-trade factory.

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7.  Boris Johnson Finally Confirms: Yes, He Does Have Six Kids

 PROUD PAPA 

The British prime minister, who has a daughter from an affair, has previously dodged the question.

8.  Feds: Rioter Shoved Cop Down Stairs With ‘Aggressive Force’

 PUSHING HIS LUCK 

Michael Eckerman was caught on surveillance footage and identified after he posted a photo of himself with the Lansdowne portrait of George Washington.

9.  High Schoolers Ride Party Bus Thanks to Driver Shortage

 IT’S LIT 

An English teacher had no choice but to rent the bus, equipped with stripper poles and neon lights, for a class trip.

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10.  ‘Cannibal’ Surgeon Who Castrated Man in Woods Sent to Prison

 OLD BALLS AND CHAIN 

Bob Lee Allen performed the surgery at a cabin in the woods and afterward joked about eating the man’s testicles.

11.  Elite Sports Academy Teacher Sexually Abused Student: Cops

  PREDATOR 

The 58-year-old teacher turned herself in after she was banned from campus, fired, and had a warrant issued for her arrest.

12.  Utah Schools Ban ‘Politically Charged’ BLM, Pride Flags

 PRIDELESS 

One junior high school took it a step further by banning any similar decorations, including pins and stickers.

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13.  250 Afghan Interpreters’ Emails Exposed in U.K. Screw-Up

 ‘UNACCEPTABLE BREACH’ 

The emails, names, and some photos of Afghan interpreters who had worked with British forces were accidentally revealed.

14.  Teen Accused in Barnard Student’s Murder to Plead Guilty

 GUILTY AS CHARGED 

Luchiano Lewis, 16, is reportedly cooperating with Manhattan prosecutors and will testify against another suspect.

15.  Johnson & Johnson: Two Doses of Vaccine Give 94% Protection

 DOUBLE UP 

The company released data from its Phase 3 trial showing that a booster shot triggers a 12-fold increase in antibodies.

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