1.  Dave Chappelle Addresses Backlash to Transphobic Jokes

 ‘STUPID ASS NETWORKS’ 

“If this is what being canceled is like, I love it,” the comedian said in response to a standing ovation at the Hollywood Bowl Thursday night.

2.  Bannon Could Face Contempt for Refusing Jan. 6 Subpoena

  IN-CHARACTER MOVE 

Bannon said he could not cooperate because Trump invoked executive privilege—even though he hasn’t been a White House employee for years.

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3.  This Is the Foam Mattress Taking Europe by Storm

 AD BY EMMA 

Emma’s mattress conquered Europe and now? It’s coming for America.

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4.  20 Attorneys General Sue Over ‘Unprecedented’ USPS Slowdown

 EXPEDITED DELIVERY 

The lawsuit comes as the USPS’s 10-year plan took effect on Oct. 1.

5.  2 Parents Convicted in First Trial of ‘Varsity Blues’ Scam

 GUILTY 

They used an admissions consultant to get their kids into the University of Southern California.

6.  Coffee With a Cause? Sign Me Up

 MORNING JOE 

BLK & Bold doesn’t just make great coffee, but its cause is one I can get behind, too.

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7.  Teachers Get Training After Mom Freaks Over Anti-Racist Book

 CLOSED BOOK 

Teachers in the Dallas area district will reportedly be asked to get rid of books that “may be considered offensive” by parents.

8.  Gunman Opens Fire Inside Senior Living Facility, Killing Two

 TRAGIC 

The suspect, who is in police custody, said he did it because of the poor treatment of the facility’s residents, according to a staffer.

9.  COVID Scammer Who Faked His Own Suicide Gets Prison Time

 NICE TRY 

David Adler Staveley applied for $543,959 in forgivable pandemic relief loans, then went to elaborate lengths to avoid being sent to prison.

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10.  Biden Signs Bill Supporting ‘Havana Syndrome’ Victims

 ‘FULL RESOURCES’ 

The law permits the CIA and State Department to direct resources to those affected by the illness.

11.  Idaho Says It’s Billing MyPillow Guy for Election Audits

  COUGH UP 

The state is counting up the costs and will send Lindell the bill in the next few weeks.

12.  Army Sgt. Accused of Killing Partner and Unborn Child

 HORRIFIC 

Alonzo Dargan Jr., an active duty staff sergeant at Fort Bragg, faces charges of murder, feticide and possession of a firearm during the commission of a crime.

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13.  US Adds Paltry 194K Jobs in September as Delta Wave Subsides

 BAD JOB 

The unemployment rate also decreased to 4.8 percent.

14.  Peace Prize Winner: I Thought Call From Committee Was ‘Spam’

 NOT IMPORTANT 

Dmitry Muratov said Friday morning’s big Nobel announcement took him by complete surprise.

15.  Hong Kong Uni Will Tear Down Harrowing Tiananmen Sculpture

 ‘PILLAR OF SHAME’ 

The statue, which depicts a twisted mass of bodies at the Beijing massacre, has stood on campus for over two decades.

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