1.  Dakota Johnson ‘Understands’ Why ‘Madame Web’ Got Torn Apart

 SPIDEY SENSE? 

The actress said the project was a learning experience, and what she’d learned was that a big-budget superhero movie isn’t for her.

ENTERTAINMENT

2.  Harris’ Ceasefire Speech Toned Down by NSC Officials: Report

  REDRAFT 

The original version was reportedly much more critical of Israel.

POLITICS

Wayfair’s Spring Sale Is the Perfect Excuse to Redecorate

  SPRING INTO SAVINGS 

For a limited time, take up to 70 percent off area rugs, wall art, mattresses, and more.

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3.  Arrests Made After Decapitated Heads Found in Park: Report

 GRISLY 

Police said the dismembered body parts were from a man and a woman.

U.S. NEWS

4.  ‘Who TF Did I Marry?’ TikTok Series Creator Gets Agent

 A STAR IS BORN 

Tareasa “Reesa Teesa” Johnson chronicled the fantastical web of lies woven by her ex in more than 50 thrilling installments.

ENTERTAINMENT

This Exfoliating Serum Is Gentle Enough for Sensitive Skin

 BUBBLE IT UP 

The affordable, TikTok-loved skincare brand just dropped two new serums.

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5.  Man Drunkenly Rides Horse Up to 5th-Floor Apartment at 3 AM

 PRINCE GOPNIK 

Neighbors are angry that it used the building’s entranceway as a bathroom.

WORLD

6.  Note Gives Motive Behind Nursing Home Murder-Suicide: Report

 HEARTBREAKING 

Thomas Dowler reportedly penned a note explaining his reasoning for killing his 76-year-old wife.

U.S. NEWS

7.  2 California Cities Ban ‘Horrible’ Use of Rodent Glue Traps

 RAT RIGHTS 

They’re “indiscriminate killing devices that permanently disable, injure and kill countless small animals every single year,” a special projects manager for PETA said.

U.S. NEWS

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8.  TV Station Apologizes for Calling Minorities ‘Colored’

 TIME WARP 

It says anchor Cory Stark made a slip of the tongue while discussing racial discrimination.

MEDIA

9.  Diddy Producer: Private Eye Was Hired to Get ‘Dirt’ on Me

  FRESH CLAIMS 

Rodney Jones claims that the private investigator, whom he claims was linked to Sean Combs, tried to bribe a friend of his to paint him “in a bad light.”

ENTERTAINMENT

10.  Bezos Replaces Musk as World’s Richest Man

 CHUMP CHANGE 

He’s now worth $200 billion.

TECH

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11.  ‘Dune’ Director Granted Fan’s Dying Wish To See Part 2 Early

 MOVIE MAGIC 

It was a “race against time” to deliver the film to the man, who had only weeks left to live.

ENTERTAINMENT

12.  Cruise Worker Put Hidden Camera in Girls’ Bathroom, Cops Say

 TRAVEL PORN 

One of the victims found it under the sink.

TRAVEL

13.  Suspected Iranian Assassin Targeting Trump Officials: Report

 MANHUNT 

The FBI believes former Secretary of State Mike Pompeo and the former special envoy to Iran are on the assassin’s hit list.

POLITICS

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