| Last week I met with a local young gay influencer. She asked to meet with me to talk about having me a guest on her podcast, as well as ask my advice about all things online and business, etcetera. We met at a local café. We had been having a wonderful conversation until after about an hour everything changed. A man walked into the café with another man. I recognized the other man. The first man… it took me a minute. Suddenly I realized who it was. He’d aged. It was a pastor I had served as an assistant many years ago. Things went well with him until they didn’t. He became very abusive to me. A bully. He put me and my family through one of the most horrific chapters of our lives. So when I saw him last week and realized who he was, my heart dropped into my stomach. The last thing I wanted to do was engage with him and the other man he was with. I told the young woman I was meeting with that… well… I’ve really enjoyed this… let’s do it again… but I need to go. Reach out if you need anything. Talk soon. We had a cordial goodbye and I got out of there. When I got home I told Lisa my story. I said, “I feel weak that I did that.” She said, “No! That’s strength! To respect and protect your boundaries is self-care! You did the right and the strong thing. And I would have done the same!” She’s right. I owe him absolutely nothing. All the religious baggage that says you ought and must and should expose yourself to abuse and the whims of so-called “leaders” is… well… bullshit! A couple of days later I got a message from him saying that he thinks he saw me in the café and when he comes back next summer (he lives in the USA now) maybe we could do coffee. Maybe. | 
