Plus, some insight into “so-so” marriages
This week, we launched a new series called “What Happy Couples Do” — a peek at what happy, long-term couples’ private lives look like so we can all learn their secrets. We’re dispelling the notion of a “perfect” relationship, while zeroing in on what the happiest couples do differently, especially during the challenging times. Look out for practical advice from real couples and experts. First up, a handy explainer of the things couples in solid relationships do after an argument — because let’s face it, all couples argue. (You’d be lying if you said otherwise!) What separates the happy couples from the not-so-happy ones is not only how they disagree, but what they do after the disagreement is over. Go here for that. Xo, Ashley Rockman |
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On the flip side, there have been a few editorials lately about staying in a marriage when you’re not happy — perhaps encouraging that, even. Two were published by the New York Times: The first was an interview with a couples counselor about “normal marital hatred,” and the second is titled “I Married the Wrong Person, and I’m So Glad I Did.” Senior reporter Brittany Wong interviewed marriage therapists about this emerging “trend” of staying in so-so marriages — indeed, the U.S. divorce rate declined 18% overall from 2008 to 2016 — and when a marriage just can’t be fixed. |
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Another common relationship conundrum? Feeling disconnected. Any number of things can cause that feeling — stress, kids, family pressure outside of your relationship, etc. — but the first thing happy couples do is identify that something is off, and then address it quickly. |
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